Our Past Defines Us
by Leo-Arcana
Summary: When Alex turned 10, he was finally returned to his mother, who had spent the last 9 years in prison, but it wasn't the reunion he was hoping for. He didn't deserve this and neither did Dana, so he was determined to give themselves a better life.
1. Homecoming

November 18th, 1989

He didn't hate the family that had taken care of him while his mother was, unbeknownst to him, in prison. He did like them, but never really _loved_ them. He'd always felt like he didn't belong. And the parents' biological son and daughter made sure he knew that by giving him dirty looks whenever their parents turned away.

But now he was happy, he finally got to see his real mother.

Despite the long drive from Scranton, Pennsylvania to New York City, he could hardly sit still. The women in charge of his case, Lynn, smiled at him and asked, "Are you excited to see your mother?"

The ten year old nodded enthusiastically. Finally, he could feel like part of a family. He briefly wondered if his mother and father were still together, if he had any siblings he didn't know about. His thoughts were interrupted upon seeing the pensive expression on Lynn's face.

"What's wrong?" he asked in that childhood innocence tone.

"Oh, it's nothing," she said, quickly replacing the smile on her face, "I'm just gonna miss seeing you."

How could she let this happen? That woman, Joline, had been in prison for the past nine years and she was supposed to just give her her child back? Lynn didn't believe Joline was fit to be a mother, but the judge had ruled that, while not exactly an ideal role model, she didn't have time to prove herself a bad parent, and that so long as she stayed out of trouble with the police, she could have him back.

Lynn grimaced, but again immediately dismissed the negative look for his sake. Maybe there was a chance that prison had turned her around; scared her back onto the straight and narrow.

When they finally arrived at Joline's home on the outskirts of New York City, what Lynn and her privileged upbringing called 'the slums', he couldn't unbuckle his seatbelt fast enough.

"Alex, slow down," she laughed, "She isn't going anywhere."

"I know," the little boy whined, "But can't we hurry?"

"Alright, alright," Lynn sighed, making only a slight effort to move faster.

She got his two suitcases out of the trunk just as he was about to cross the street, "Alex! Wait just a second!"

_She had better be a good mother for how excited he is_, Lynn thought as she rushed over to Alex. She followed him across the street and up the small set of steps to Joline's front door. Lynn reached up and knocked on the door. After a minute or two, there was no answer. She could see Alex's happiness start to fade. Lynn was about to knock on the door again when it flung open again without warning.

"Sorry it took me a minute to get to the door," Joline smiled, "I was on the phone with a friend and she just would not stop talking."

"Oh, it's okay," Lynn said, "You're here and that's the important thing."

Joline picked up on the accusatory tone in her voice, "Well of course I'm here, I wouldn't want to miss seeing my little boy!"

Joline kneeled down and held out her arms. Alex immediately ran into her arms and hugged her tightly. Joline took the chance to glare up at Lynn without Alex seeing.

"Come inside, won't you?" Joline offered as she stood up, holding Alex.


	2. The Nightmare Begins

The living room smelled of alcohol. Lynn turned to Joline, expecting an explanation.

"Don't worry, it was just a little celebration party for my home coming. And for getting my little Alex back," Joline said, giving Alex another hug.

"Of course it was," Lynn replied, "You know better than to behave that way, right?"

Again, Joline glared at her as she set Alex down. She was starting to really hate this caseworker.

"Sweetheart, why don't you go put your things in your room?" Joline suggested, pointing down the hall, "The first door on the left."

"Okay," Alex replied, taking the two suitcases from Lynn. They weren't heavy; the cases themselves probably weighed more than their contents. As soon as Alex disappeared into the room, Joline turned angrily on Lynn.

"What is your goddamn problem?" she hissed.

"Such language!" Lynn scolded, "I hope you don't use that in front of him."

"Just who the hell do you think you—"

"The caseworker who can still take him away from you," Lynn shot.

"The judge ruled in _my_ favor," Joline seethed.

"But I have the final say," Lynn stated, "If you do anything, _anything_ at all that makes him upset…I will see to it that he is taken back. And I hope for _Alex's_ sake, that that was just a one-time homecoming party last night."

Lynn walked over to the kitchen table and dropped a file on it, indicating it was for Joline to read and fill out or sign any necessary forms. As she did, Lynn wandered around a bit, clearly examining the house to see if it was safe for a child to live in. Joline smiled to herself, she'd done a pretty good job at cleaning last night's mess. _She won't find anything_, she thought smugly.

Alex came back down the hallway just as she was finishing up the papers and handing them back to Lynn.

"I gotta get going now, Alex," Lynn said, kneeling down to him.

"Are you gonna come back and visit?" he asked.

"Yes, I will," she answered, glancing at Joline who huffed and crossed her arms, "I'll be back in a few days to see you, okay?"

"Okay," he said, giving her a hug.

They said their good-byes and the second the door closed, Joline glared at her son. _He looks so much like his fucking father…! I hate that son of a bitch!_ she thought with a snarl tugging at her mouth.

"What are you lookin' at?" she snapped a little more harshly than she meant to, but she didn't regret it.

Alex starred at her, speechless.

"Go to your room," she growled, turning on her heels and leaving him there.

Joline walked back into the kitchen, opened a cabinet, and pulled out a bottle of wine. She let out a string of profanities as she searched for the corkscrew. When she couldn't find it, she slammed the drawer she'd been looking through and went back to the living room where Alex was still standing.

"If you aren't gonna go to your room, then make yourself useful and help me find the fucking corkscrew!"

"I…I don't know what—" he stammered.

"It's a little metal thing with a spiral, are you stupid?" she snapped.

How was he supposed to know that? He was only ten. Still, he walked solemnly into the kitchen to help her look for it. He already wished he was back with his foster family, at least they didn't treat him like this.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

_**Author:**_** So what do you guys think so far?**


	3. Your New Life

Alex sat silently at the edge of his bed, toying with the corner of his comforter. He couldn't believe that the angry, drunk woman in the living was his mother. He'd always thought she would be much nicer or at least pleasant to be around. After a few hours, he heard her storm down the hall to her own room and slam the door so violently that it shook the small house. Then he heard a noise he wasn't expecting.

A crying baby.

His mother shouted for him to take of 'it' because she hated the sound of crying children. Alex hesitated a moment, not quite sure of what to do.

"Hurry the fuck up!" Joline yelled.

Alex flinched and got up. He quietly opened the door to the room across from his. Under the window on the far side was a very basic and cheap looking crib. He slinked over to the crib and saw the headboard had the name "Dana" engraved on it. He looked down to see the baby girl crying. _So I do have a sister…?_ he wondered. Dana had been born last December while Joline was still in prison and was the reason Joline's hearing had been scheduled earlier than was originally planned.

"Goddammit, why is that baby still fucking crying?" Joline roared.

Alex panicked trying to think of what to do. He remembered seeing his foster mother quiet her nephew by holding him and speaking gently to him. Alex unlatched the side of the crib and picked up the infant. She quieted down a little, looking up at him with tear-filled icy blue eyes. The same eyes he had. That their mother had.

"Shhh, it's okay," he whispered. The reassurance wasn't just for her, but himself as well. Alex continued talking to her and even trying to softly sing nursery rhymes, but he didn't know all the words to them. Just as Dana was about to fall asleep, Joline yelled again, "It's about goddamn time!"

Dana's eyes snapped open, starting to fill with tears again as her lower lip began to tremble.

"No, no, no, it's okay," Alex said quickly, then tried singing to her again.

She was finally quiet and on the brink of falling asleep, but she wouldn't let go of Alex's shirt. He tried to gently pry her tiny hands off, but every time he did, she'd wake up and threaten to start crying again. Alex sighed, accepting the fact he was going to have to spend the night with her. He carried her back to his room and gingerly set her on his bed, then laid down next to her.

Both Dana and Joline were silent the rest of the night, but Alex didn't sleep well that night. He stayed up wondering if maybe, just maybe, he'd fallen asleep on the car ride to New York City and this was all just a bad dream.

Waking up to see the rays of the early morning sun peeking through his dusty window told him no. This was his life now.

His stomach growled loudly, reminding him he didn't even get dinner last night. Dana still held tightly to his shirt so he had to carefully wriggle out of it and put on a different one. Alex walked into the kitchen, hoping his mother was making breakfast.

Of course, she wasn't. He found her still in her room, sprawled out on her bed, passed out with an empty wine bottle in hand.

"Mom….?" he called hopelessly from the door.

She didn't respond, just like he thought. His stomach growled again and he turned to go back to the kitchen. Alex didn't know how to cook, but how hard could it be to get a bowl of cereal? He opened the door to the pantry and was shocked to see there was hardly any food in it. What little food was there was stale for the most part. Only after moving empty boxes and bags aside was he able to find a single unopened box of Pop-Tarts and a tiny jar of baby food, reminding him that since his mother was passed out, he would have to get Dana's breakfast as well.

While the Pop-Tarts warmed up in the microwave, he continued looking through the kitchen for something other than the little jar of baby that he could give Dana for breakfast. There was nothing wrong with it, he just didn't think mashed turkey would be the best thing to have for breakfast. He found a couple baby bottles of milk sitting next to a 6-pack of beer in the refrigerator. Alex took one of the bottles and set it out on the counter to warm up. He would've microwaved it, but he didn't know for how long or if it even could be microwaved.

The timer beeped, letting him know his Pop-Tarts were done. As he waited for them to cool down, he started thinking. He may only be ten years old, but he was smart boy. He knew what alcohol was and what it did. He also knew what an alcoholic was and how they behaved. _If she doesn't drink, maybe…_

The thought gave him an idea. He went back to the fridge and reached for the six-pack, intending to throw it out. _Won't she get mad?_ a voice in the back of his head asked. He stopped. Alex thought of how angry she'd been last night and he hadn't even done anything. What would she do if he threw out any of her alcohol? Alex shuddered as he imagined what she would do and he closed the refrigerator door without touching the six-pack.

He sat at the table and ate his breakfast, feeling more alone than he had with his foster family. Dana must've woken up and realized he'd left because he heard her start to cry. He grabbed her bottle and hurried back to his room to calm her down before she woke up their mother.

o0o0o0o0o

_**Author:**_** Anyone think the rating needs to changed to 'M'?**


	4. Seventh Circle of Hell

When his mother finally did wake up, around noon, she gave him some money and a list, then told him to go to the grocery store. He looked at her in disbelief. By himself? Wasn't she at all worried that something might happen to him? Obviously she wasn't, she told him to 'hurry his ass up'.

It took him a while to find the nearest store, he didn't know NYC at all. Thankfully, a few people had had the decency to point him in the right direction. Signs hanging above each aisle in the grocery store made it easy for him to find what he was looking for, which wasn't very much. Joline gave him about eighteen dollars' worth of crumbled bills and loose change so there wasn't a whole lot he could buy. The cashier looked at him curiously and asked him if he was with his mother.

"She's at home because she doesn't feel good," Alex replied. Joline was hungover.

"Oh, well she must trust you a lot to let you come here by yourself…" the cashier said, clearly thinking the same thoughts he had had when Joline sent him off. She handed him the bag of neatly packed groceries and asked if he would be alright getting home. He said he would be, he memorized the way he'd gotten there. She seemed impressed, saying something about how it took her a day or two to remember how to get there from her apartment.

When he got back to his house, Joline was sitting at the kitchen table waiting impatiently for him. One of the things she told him to get was Tylenol for her headache. Something he didn't have enough money to buy along with the food. Joline snatched the bag out of Alex's hand and started searching through it.

"Where's the Tylenol?" she demanded.

"You didn't give me enough money to get it…" he answered.

Alex, as smart as he was, didn't know that it was for her hangover so he didn't think it would be a big deal to leave it at the store. Apparently, it was a big deal.

In a single motion, Joline tossed the bag aside and was in front of Alex with her hand raised. She slapped him hard across the face with enough force to send him to the floor. He was in too much shock to react in any way other than lightly touching the side of his face where she'd hit him.

"Worthless little shit…" Joline mumbled as she strode past him to go get the medicine herself. She flung the front door open and slammed it behind her. Was she even capable closing a door like a normal person? Alex remained on the floor for a moment, resisting the urge to cry. Composing himself, he got up and started looking for a phone. He shouldn't have to deal with this. He wanted to call Lynn, to tell her that Joline was a bad mother, to ask her to take him away. _What about Dana?_ Even if Lynn managed to get him back to his foster family, would they take Dana as well? He'd seen children at the orphanage, brothers and sisters, be torn apart from each other because some families didn't want both the kids.

Alex hesitated for a second then shook his head. Even if his foster family didn't take her, surely whoever did would be better than Joline. She was too young to remember if they were separated now and Alex had only known her for one night. In time, he could forget about her, right? He kept looking for the phone but he couldn't find it. Panicked tears started to well up in his eyes, if he couldn't find the phone, he couldn't tell Lynn he wanted to leave this place. _She said she would visit in a couple days,_ he thought, taking deep, calming breaths, _Just tell her then…_

"Looking for something?"

Alex whirled around to see his mother back from the store already. He couldn't have been searching for the phone that long. Then he remembered his mother was an adult. She knew where the store was and she had a car. It would only take her a few minutes to go there, get her medicine, and come back.

"N-no," he stammered, shrinking back as she walked towards him.

"You weren't looking for something?" she asked, "Something like a phone?"

Alex shook his head, but kept his eyes on her.

"Why don't I believe you?" she asked slowly, her anger rising.

"T-there isn't one to—"

"And how the fuck would you know that?"

Alex realized his mistake too late. She struck him across the face again, though this time he was able to stay on his feet. Joline raised her hand again and Alex held his arms up to shield his face.

"You think that'll help you?" Joline snarled.

She clenched her hand into a fist and punched him. A yelp of pain escaped his mouth as he slumped against the cabinets. Almost as if on cue, Dana started crying.

"Does that little bitch ever shut up?" Joline turned away from Alex and headed off towards his room, where Dana was still laying. Alex ignored the pain in his arm and got up to follow her, fearing for the infant's safety.

"The hell is she doing in _your_ room, huh?"

"S-she wouldn't let go of me last night s-so I brought her in here with m-me…" Alex murmured.

"And that got her stop bitchin'?"

Alex nodded. Joline's lip twitched in anger, but she didn't do anything. She had been home with Dana for about a week before she got Alex back. Every night, Dana had been awake and crying, driving her crazy. Last night was the first time she'd been quite for more than an hour. If Alex could do that, she figured it didn't really matter which room Dana slept in as long as she actually _slept._

"Then get her to shut up again," Joline growled as she pushed past Alex, knocking him into the door frame.


	5. Fleeting Hope

November 22nd, 1989

Alex trudged home alone from school that day. He didn't have a very good day. He didn't make any new friends; in fact, the kids seemed to avoid him after their parents whispered something to them. His teacher looked on him with pity, but said nothing to him. He held his arm as he walked, it still hurt where Joline had punched him and a bruise continued to darken. At him mother's orders, he wore a long sleeve shirt to cover it and was not to, for any reason, roll his sleeves up.

He sighed and silently hoped that Dana hadn't bothered Joline too much. He worried about her all day. Even if Lynn did take them away, and they were separated, Alex wouldn't be able to forget about her now. _Lynn…_ She was supposed to visit soon.

Then almost as if his wish was granted, he saw a familiar car parked on the street. His face lit up and sprinted to his house. He fumbled his house key out of his pocket and unlocked the door. Lynn was sitting on the couch with Joline talking about something.

"Lynn!" Alex exclaimed and ran towards her.

"Hey, I missed you," Lynn smiled warmly as she hugged him, "How's living with your mom?"

Joline gave him a warning look.

"I like it," he said shortly.

"He's so helpful," Joline said, "He's been helping me with the groceries and taking care of the baby."

Help? No, he was doing all the work. Alex guessed she'd told Lynn about Dana shortly after she'd arrived. Joline really didn't have much of a choice since Dana probably started fussing _again_.

"Oh, really?" Lynn asked, "You're such a good boy, Alex."

"He is, and Dana loves him so much," Joline added. That was probably the most truthful thing she said during the entire conversation.

Lynn asked Joline if she could have a minute alone to talk to Alex. She nodded and left, but not without one more discreet warning look at her son. Lynn asked Alex if he really did like living with Joline, if she was nice, if she hurt him, if he missed his foster family.

He lied about everything. He said he did like her, she was nice, she didn't hurt him, and he didn't miss his foster family. Lynn didn't seem convinced, but Alex promised her everything was alright. They talked a while longer until Joline interrupted, saying she should start cooking dinner for them.

"Oh, of course," Lynn said, standing up, "I'll see you later, Alex."

"Bye," he said solemnly as she walked out.

Just like before, as soon as the door closed, his mother changed. Joline waited a moment to make sure Lynn wasn't coming back. Then she snapped at Alex to make something for himself and Dana while she went out to the bar with her friends. _Why does she keeping making me do stuff like this?_ Alex tried to protest that he couldn't cook, but Joline raised her hand menacingly and he immediately silenced himself.

Dana's dinner would be easy, he wasn't worried about that. His dinner, on the other hand, posed more of a problem. He was hoping there would be something that had easy-to-understand directions on it. And there was; a pack of Top Ramen.

Dana sat in her high-chair as Alex fed her her dinner while he waited for the water to boil. She ate without any complaints, like she was happy to be fed. Now that he thought about, most babies looked a bit pudgy, but Dana… Well, she seemed a little smaller than most.

Water boiled over the pot and hissed against the metal coils heating it, reminding Alex he was also supposed to be making his own dinner. He set her food on the table, got up, and went to the stove. Alex grabbed a towel hanging off the stove's handle and fanned the pot with it to get the boiling bubbles back down before he dropped the brick of dry noodles in. _Three minutes,_ he told himself as he picked up a fork and poked at the floating brick.

When the noodles separated, he sat down next to Dana and fed her a few more spoonfuls of baby food. He had no idea how much babies were supposed to eat, so he thought he should just keeping feeding her until she turned away from the food. After the three minutes were up, Alex took the pot off the heated coil and raging water settled to a mere simmer. He mixed in the seasoning packet and messily poured it into a bowl, then took his place beside Dana once more.

Alex scooted the bowl out of Dana's grasp as she reached for it.

"I already gave you food," he said, "You can't have this anyways, it's mine."

She pouted unhappily at him, but he just looked away from her.


	6. Shattered Memory

Alex was woken by the sound of his mother coming home in the ungodly hours of the morning. She staggered through the house, knocking over a number of things. Some of them were apparently made of glass. When Joline started yelling, he was surprised that Dana didn't wake up as well. Maybe those nights she woke up so easily and started crying was just because she had been hungry…

"Alex!" Joline shouted, stumbling down the hallway.

He buried his head into his pillow and did his best to ignore her.

"Alex, get out here and help me to my room!" she yelled as she fell against a wall.

He continued to ignore her. That was when she got really angry. Joline kicked his bedroom door open and slumped against the frame.

"Boy, I swear to God, if you don't get off your fuckin' ass in the next five seconds and help me to my own goddamn room, I will beat your ass so hard!"

Alex planned to feign sleep, hoping she would believe him.

"One….two….three…._four_…!"

He pushed back the covers, but not over Dana, and got up. Obviously his plan wasn't going to work.

"It's about fuckin' time…." she growled.

Joline held on to his shoulders, with an iron grip, for balance as they walked the remaining fifteen or so feet to her room. She collapsed onto her bed and muttered through the pillow for Alex to go clean up everything in the living room and kitchen.

"But it's one thirty in the morning," he whined sleepily, "Can't I clean it tomorrow…?"

"No, I don't want to step in any of that shit in the morning. Go clean it up now!"

_You won't even wake up 'til noon_, he thought as he turned and walked towards the living room. It wasn't as bad as he'd thought, only an empty vase and picture frame had fallen and broke. In the kitchen, just a glass he forgot to put in the sink. But it was still glass and it was one thirty in the morning. Alex stepped over the shards carefully to get to the closet that held the broom. He swept the kitchen in a few minutes and discarded the glass into the garbage can. In the living room, he picked up the picture frame, pausing a minute to look at what it had held. A picture of Joline and some guy he didn't know. She looked happy in the picture, like a good person. A loving smile graced her face as her long crimson hair flowed beautifully in the wind. Nothing like the monster she was to him. The man…well, maybe that was his father. He had the same light copper-blonde hair as him.

Alex scowled and quickly tossed the picture in the garbage.

He picked up the larger chunks of glass and threw them away as well. If it had been a normal time during the day, he would just use of vacuum to get the remaining little shards. But he didn't want to wake up Dana. He couldn't care less if Joline woke up. In his mind, since she was the one who broke all this, she should be the one to clean it up. But Joline didn't take responsibility like that. She didn't really take _any_ responsibility.

Alex had picked up most of the shards and decided that that was good enough. If there were any left in the carpet that Joline might step on, and in the back of his mind, he hoped there was, he didn't care. He tossed the shards into the garbage and upon doing so, he saw they had cut several small nicks into his hands. Thankfully, they were not significant cuts, but still, something would need to be wrapped around his hands before he went back to sleep.

He looked through the kitchen and bathroom for bandages, but of course, there weren't any. Why would there be? Joline only bought alcohol and minimal amounts of food, maybe a few other things once in a while. Alex went back to the kitchen and tore two sheets of paper towels off their roll, crumbled them in his hands and kept them there. At least it would stop the bleeding for now.

Alex dragged himself back to his room and crawled under the covers, careful not to disturb Dana. Ever since he'd gotten there, she had been sleeping in his bed. He knew she should be in her crib because it would probably be safer. All he would have to do to accidentally hurt her was roll over in his sleep. She wasn't even a year old yet. He would have to find a way to get her comfortable sleeping alone in her own room before this became too much of a habit.


	7. Winter Respite

December 24th, 1989

Through one of Joline's drunken ramblings, Alex had learned that today was Dana's birthday. He didn't even pretend to hope that Joline would stay home for Dana's birthday, it was Christmas Eve after all. Why would she stay home with two kids she really didn't care for instead of going out drinking more than normal?

She had left him money for groceries as usual, but during the walk to the store, all he was thinking about was if it would be worth it to use that money to buy Dana a present instead.

When he got to the store, it wasn't even remotely busy and not a single employee looked happy to be there. All of them were gathered at one checkstand, chattering away, trying to make the night somewhat pleasant. Some of them walked away as soon as they saw him, but most of them remained and watched him with bored expressions. Except for one, the girl he had met the first time he went to the store. She smiled at him warmly and asked if he wanted her to help him find something again. She always took time for him, since the store was never packed with customers.

Before he answered her, he noticed a holiday display further behind her. It was filled with expensive Christmas cards, sparkling ciders, gift wrap, and everything else related to Christmas. But one thing caught his eye; a fluffy white polar bear with a sky blue scarf. He made his choice.

"No, I'm just getting something for my sister," he finally replied as he started towards the display. The bear cost exactly the amount of money Joline had given him. Whatever beating she decided to deal out to him, he would accept. They had just enough food to last for a few more days. He grabbed the bear without hesitation and went back to the girl waiting for him at the checkstand.

"Christmas present for her?" she asked as she scanned its tag.

"And a birthday present," he said.

"Is today her birthday?"

"Yeah," he answered as he handed her the money.

"Want me to wrap it up then?" she asked, putting the money in the till and snipping the tag with a small pair of scissors she'd gotten out of the checkstand's drawer.

Alex nodded; Dana probably wouldn't care either way, but still. He followed her over to the floral department a few feet away. She set the bear on the counter, kneeled down, and rummaged through the cabinets until she found a suitable box. It was intended to hold flower arrangements so that they wouldn't fall over while customers drove home with them, and as such, it had a hole in the top. She grabbed another box and then cut the two of them in half. She set the bear in one and slid the other half over it like a lid.

Alex waited patiently as she searched for spare gift wrap. Unfortunately, all of it had been used up the previous day. She did, however, find some extra ribbons and tied them neatly around the box. She handed him the box and wished him a merry Christmas as he thanked her and left the store.

He got home just as snow was beginning to fall. Inside, he set the box couch and went to get Dana. As excited as he was for her to open it, he to get them dinner first. He put her in her high chair and retrieved her baby food from the pantry. Alex didn't bother with his own dinner, he wasn't that hungry right now. Dana seemed to notice her brother's unusually positive mood and stared at him in curiosity and slight suspicion. In between spoonfuls she would make noises at him, like she was trying to talk; she was about the age where she should be learning to talk anyway. Alex had to admit, without anyone really teaching her, her babbling was becoming ever so slightly more coherent as time passed.

When she'd had enough for the night, he brought her into the living room; a couple dirty dishes could wait. He set her on the couch, picked up the box, and held it out in front of her. She looked at him in bewilderment. _Right, she doesn't know what a present is,_ Alex reminded himself. He sat down next to her with the box in his lap. He took her hands and guided them to the ribbon.

"Grab it," he said encouragingly.

Dana curled her tiny hand around it and jerked it, which only synched the bow into a knot. Dana looked up at him, still holding the end of the ribbon. He frowned and worked at the knot for a minute before telling her to try again.

She tugged at it once more and it came undone. Still unsure of what was going on, she looked at her brother again. He took her hands and placed them on either side of the lid and then motioned for her to lift it up. When she did, Alex tilted the box so she could see what was inside. Her eyes lit up as she reached for the polar bear excitedly. Alex smiled as she took it and hugged it tightly.

"A'eks!" she squealed, beaming at him.

Now it was Alex's turn to stare at her in confusion, "…What?"

"A'eks!" Dana repeated.

"You mean…'Alex'?" he guessed.

Dana smiled and giggled at him, retightening her hug on the bear. The 'L' sound eluded her and her 'X' wasn't quite right, but it was close enough to be considered her first word.


	8. For Every Action, There is a Consequence

December 26th, 1989

So much snow had accumulated on Christmas Eve that going anywhere on Christmas Day was far more effort than it could be worth, which meant Joline couldn't make it home and Alex had a better Christmas than he thought he would.

But that couldn't last.

Joline barged through the door, bringing in a bone-chilling gust of wind, several flakes of snow, and the heavy scent of alcohol with her. She ignored Alex playing with Dana in the living room and he, in turn, ignored her. He wanted to enjoy a moment with Dana before Joline figured out what he had done.

Joline went straight to the kitchen, mumbling about how she had been stuck at the bar the whole time and there wasn't any decent food to eat. She stopped her complaining mid-sentence when she opened the pantry. Alex tried to stay calm, but Joline's silence made him panic.

"Why is there less food than when I left two days ago?" she asked evenly through gritted teeth.

If he just told her, it would be over sooner, maybe not even as severe. But Alex couldn't do it. Joline took long strides back to living room and stood over Alex. He swallowed nervously and looked up at her with as much innocence as he could muster.

"Well, Alex?" Joline growled.

"U-um…"

Then Joline took notice of Dana's polar bear.

"Where did she get that?" she hissed, glaring intently at the bear.

"A'ex," Dana replied. Her pronunciation of his name had gotten a little better, though the 'L' still evaded her.

"What?"

"A'ex," she repeated.

Joline's lip twitched anger. She snarled and reached for the bear, but Alex grabbed her arm.

"No, please don't!" he pleaded.

"_You!_" Joline roared, "_You_ used _my_ money to buy that fucking thing?"

"I-it was her birthday a-and Christmas," he defended weakly.

"And her _first word_ is _your_ name?" she snatched him up by the collar, bringing him to stand on his tip-toes.

"I'm sorry!" he cried, "I didn't teach her, she just—"

"_Shut the fuck up!_" Joline shouted, giving him a violent shake.

Dana began to cry and Joline dropped Alex and started towards her. He scrambled to his feet and latched onto her arm again. Joline raised her free hand and slapped him hard across the face, tried to shake him off, then hit him again, but he refused to let go. Joline swore loudly as she clenched her hand into a fist and hit him in the side of his face. Alex slumped to the floor, dazed; the whole room seemed to spinning around him. She kicked him swiftly in the chest, knocking the wind out of him, and picked him up by the collar once more.

"Now, what were you saying?" she seethed.

Alex clawed helplessly at her hands as he gasped for air.

"Pathetic," she huffed, throwing him to floor.

Joline snatched the bear out of Dana's hands and hurled it across the room. She whirled around angrily and stormed out of the room, leaving Alex on the floor and Dana crying at the top her lungs.

Alex tried to get up, but his lack of air made the room spin faster as darkness crept at the edges of his vision. He managed to get to his hands and knees, slowly regaining his breathing, but it wasn't soon enough. Darkness swallowed his sight and unconsciousness took over him. He didn't even feel it when he hit the floor again.

Alex regained consciousness sometime around midnight. He laid numbly on the floor as he waited for his eyes to focus and the dizziness to subside. Dana was still on the couch, dried tears clung to her sleeping face. Alex slowly turned his head to the side and saw the bear on the otherside of the room, laying there just as still and defeated as him. He wanted to get up, to go get it and give it back to Dana. But the sharp pain in his side cut his breath short every time he made an attempt to move.

_Dana, I'm sorry,_ he thought as he absent-mindedly touched the side of his face. It felt like it was on fire; a dark bruise was swelling already. He groaned miserably as he let his hand fall back to his side. His body wanted to sleep, but Alex wouldn't. The darkness he'd come out of frightened him too much. He couldn't do anything right now except lay there and stare at the ceiling all night until morning came.

Joline left in the morning without saying a word to them and slammed the door behind her, proving she really was incapable of closing doors like a normal person. Dana began to wake up and cry softly.

"Dana…" he muttered, "It's okay…"

She reached out for him to pick her up, to prove it really was okay. Alex winced as he rolled over to push himself up. His side still hurt a considerable amount, but at least now he could move. She watched him with teary eyes as he used the edge of the couch to steady himself as he got to his feet and sat down next her. Dana reached out to him again, with her lower lip trembling.

Alex sighed scooted her closer, not having the strength to actually pick her up and move her. She grabbed onto his shirt and snuggled herself closer

"I sowwy," she whimpered.

Alex had to admit that she had pronounced that quite well, but it could also be because of how often she heard him say it when Joline took her anger out on him.

"It's not your fault," he said softly.

"A'ex?" she asked, pointing to the bear under the window on the otherside of the room.

She wanted her bear. He gently pried her hands off his shirt and forced himself up. The shirt distance to the window had never felt so long to him. When he bent down to pick it up, he felt dizzy again and stumbled back to couch, collapsing beside his sister. Dana took the bear and hugged it between herself and him.


	9. Hope, Part 1

January 9th, 1990

He kept his head down as he walked home from school, in a vain attempt to hide the still very prominent bruise on his face. When his teacher had asked what happened, he told he just slipped on a patch of ice during winter break. She didn't seem convinced, no one did, but she didn't press him. He continued on, staring at the melting slush as he went. He heard someone ahead of him talking, though the person was alone. _Probably crazy…_ he thought. Alex didn't bother looking up even as the person got closer. Apparently, they weren't paying much attention to where they were going either.

They walked straight into each other; Alex stumbled back, a little upset, and the person dropped something that broke upon hitting the ground.

"Oh, goddammit…" she breathed, "I'm sorry, I wasn't loo— Alex?"

Alex glanced up to see the cashier girl from the grocery store. He hardly recognized her without her uniform and her hair tied back.

"Casey?" he guessed.

"Yeah, what…oh my god, what happened?" she gasped, noticing the bruise and kneeling down to his level with concern in her eyes.

"I…I slipped on a patch of ice," he replied, trying to avoid eye contact.

"And hit your _face_?" she said, "The ground didn't do tha—"

"What did you drop?" he interrupted.

"Oh, it's…well, was, my cell phone," she sighed, picking up a few pieces.

Alex had heard of those. They were still a fairly new invention, he remembered seeing a few store windows proudly showcasing them back in Pennsylvania. But the one Casey had dropped looked nothing like those, her's was lighter, more sleek, and had a piece that folded over the buttons. The ones Alex had seen were literally the size of bricks.

"I got it as a Christmas present…brand new model too," she added sadly.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"Don't be, it's just a phone," she smiled, "I grew up without one, I'll live."

He felt a little better that she wasn't angry with him. He could barely handle Joline always being angry. Casey stuffed the pieces into her coat pocket and turned her attention back to Alex.

"Now," she said, "Tell me the truth, what happened?"

"I just fell," he answered.

"Alex," she sighed, "We both know that's not true, now please…just tell me. I promise I won't say anything to anyone."

Casey probably did know, or at least, had a very good idea. Just about every other time he came into the store, he had some new _visible_ injury. At first, Casey had thought maybe he was just clumsy. But then she started paying closer attention, most of them were on his arms; like defensive injuries. She had wanted to ask him, but she didn't know how to bring up the topic since their conversations were so short. However, now she had plenty of time to talk to him.

"…You promise not to tell?" Alex murmured, "Not anyone?"

"I promise."

He liked Casey, she was nice to him. She didn't look at him with pity like the teachers at school did. She didn't treat him like a pariah like the kids in his class did. She didn't look at him with disdain like the neighbors did. She treated him like Alex, the way a kid should be treated. Casey had promised and Alex believed her.

"It…" he paused.

Even here, away from Joline and everyone else, he was still afraid Joline would find out and punish him for telling. Casey didn't push him to talk, she waited patiently.

"….my mom," Alex said finally, fixing his eyes on a little spot of slush between them.

"…Your mother…did that to you?" Casey repeated quietly with horror hinting in her voice.

He nodded, keeping his gaze fixed on the slush.

"Alex…"she started, "You know, I'm pretty sure…I have to tell someone about this…"

"What? You promised!" he cried.

"I know, but it's not fair for this to be happening to you," Casey said.

"You can't, they'll separate me and Dana," Alex whined.

Casey ran a hand through her hair, thinking about something. After a minute or two, she sighed and asked, "What makes you say that?"

"Because I saw it happen a lot at the orphanage," Alex answered, "People don't always want both kids."

"….What if…I adopted you?" Casey said, "And Dana, too."

He stared at her, speechless. He did like her, she would be a far better mother than Joline, and she would take Dana as well. What reason did he have to say no? Sure, Joline would be furious and probably beat the hell out of him one last time for telling. But that would be the end of it all. He could be happy.

Alex felt like he was going to cry, but habit had made him resist it. Instead, he threw his arms around her and hugged her tightly. Casey smiled and hugged him back, "I'll try to not tell anyone, but I will if I _have_ to. Alright?"

He mumbled something in agreeance and buried his face in her shoulder, still trying not to cry. He held onto her until he felt like he could look at her without tears. When he pulled away from her, she wiped away the few stray tears that had managed to streak down his face.

"Want me to walk you home?" she offered.

"Weren't you going somewhere?" he asked.

"Yeah, but it can wait. It's not like the world is going to end if I'm a few minutes late to the mall," she replied.

Casey stood up and held out her hand, Alex took it and wouldn't let go the entire walk back home. As they walked, for the first time since November, he felt happy and hopeful. Even though she was only in her early twenties, she could do it. She could be the good mother he had wanted, that he and Dana deserved.

They stopped outside his house and he knew she had to leave him. He hugged her again before he walked up the stairs and let her go. Alex lingered a minute, watching her walk away, before opening the door. Inside, Joline was sitting at the table with a man dressed in a very business-like suit. They were discussing something about a house.

"It was left you, Ms. Mercer," he said, "It's up to you if you want to sell it or move in or rent it or whatever."

"Well, what the hell," she sighed, sitting back, "I'm getting kind of sick of this place anyway."


	10. Hope, Part 2

"Wha….are we moving?" Alex choked.

"Yeah," Joline replied.

"Where?" he panicked.

"Las Vegas," she said with a smug look.

"Any time after your mother signs these papers and I hand her the keys," the man answered.

Alex dropped his backpack and slinked off to his room. He fell onto his bed numbly, trying to process what was about to happen. Judging by the look Joline had given him, they would be moving sooner than Casey could help him. He had a way out and now it was ripped out from under him. _She's gonna have to tell someone…_ he thought, _She's gonna have to tell someone if she'll be able to do anything in time…_

He peeked in Dana's room to see her taking a nap, then he snuck back to the living to check on his mother. She was focused on dealing with the man who had told her about the house. According to him, Joline's mother passed away a few days ago and although Joline had refused to go to her funeral, she was still getting the house.

Alex crept out quietly through the back door. As soon as he slid it shut, he took off running. He had to find Casey, to tell her that Joline was planning to move them, that she could tell whoever she needed to about the abuse. _She said she was going to the mall,_ he told himself. He weaved his way down the crowded sidewalks, looking for her. She couldn't have gotten too far, she only left him about ten minutes ago. Unless she hailed a taxi, then she was probably already at the mall. If Alex had any money, he would do the same. But he didn't and was forced to run to the mall as fast as he could.

When he got there, he bolted through the automatic sliding doors and surveyed the mall. It was filled with people and it would take him forever to find her, if he even could. He didn't even know where to start. He decided to start with the food court, but didn't see her. He poked his head in several stores but still couldn't find her. This wasn't working, he had to think of something else. He went into a girly looking store and asked one of the employees if they had seen Casey.

They had, she was just there. The employee pointed him in the direction she had gone, the way he had just come from. He thanked the employee and dashed out after her. _How come I didn't see her?_ Alex wondered. Then he spotted her disappearing into another store with a group of people.

"Casey!" he called.

She stopped and looked around, confused. The group of people she was with, her friends, seemed to question why she stopped. Casey shrugged and turned away, obviously not expecting Alex.

"Casey!" he yelled as he ran faster to catch her.

Then she saw him darting in between people.

"Alex…?"

He ran straight into her, locking his arms around her hips, and threw her off balance to the ground.

"Alex, what's wrong?" she asked, sitting up.

"Who is this kid?" one of her friends asked with the same disdainful look his neighbors gave him.

"Yeah, what's going on?" another friend of her's asked.

"Uh…you guys go on ahead, just give me a second, okay?" Casey said.

"Alright, whatever," the first one said, waving her off as they left her behind.

Casey got up and took Alex over to a nearby bench and set him down. It took a little for him to calm down enough to catch his breath and explain to her. When he did, she took her with him to the mall's information desk and asked to see a phone book. She flipped through the pages until she found the number she was looking for; Child Protective Services. Casey moved her hand to her pocket to retrieve her cell phone, but then remembered it was in pieces.

"Excuse me," she said to the woman sitting behind the desk, "Could I borrow a phone for a minute?"

"I'm sorry, but we don't have one for public use," the woman said, returning to whatever she'd been working on.

"….Are you kidding me?" Casey asked, "There's one _right there_, I just need it for a minute. It's really really important."

"I'm sorry miss, but I can't let you use it. Don't you have a cell phone like all those other young kids these days?"

"No," Casey replied, getting annoyed by the woman's unwillingness to help.

"I'm sure there's a pay phone somewhere you can use."

Alex felt bad for bumping into Casey earlier and causing her drop her phone. If he would've looked up, her phone was still be usable. But then again, if he did look up and not bumped into her, he wouldn't have recognized her. She wouldn't notice him. He wouldn't have told her his mother was abusing him and she wouldn't be trying to get him out of it.

Casey set her jaw and leaned over the counter.

"Miss, you can't do—"

She snatched a pen out of the woman's hand and wrote down the phone number on her hand. Casey capped the pen, slammed the phone book shut, and shoved both back at the woman with a dirty look. She took Alex by the hand to go find a pay phone.

It didn't take long to find one, they were all over the place, but it was the inconvenience that bothered Casey. She stuffed a few coins into the slot and dialed the number on her hand. Alex waited anxiously as she stood there, waiting for someone to answer.

"Uh, yes. I'd like to file a report of child abuse," Casey said when her call went through.

He felt a wave of relief wash over him, things could still work out for both him and Dana.

"Really? That's not surprising…" Casey muttered, she covered the mouth piece and said to Alex, "Your neighbors have been calling."

If they had been calling, then why had no one come to their house? At the same time, he was thankful they did call. Casey's report should be enough for the agency to send someone over, she gave them all the information they needed and then hung up.

"They're going to send someone over to your house in three days. They said that was the soonest they could someone out there," she told him, "You and your sister will be safe."


	11. Hollow

"Where the fuck have you been?"

Alex nearly jumped out of his skin. Joline sat at the table with a beer in hand, beside her sat a set of keys with a tag. The keys to their new house in Nevada.

"Don't think I didn't see that girl bring you home from school," Joline spat, "And you sneakin' out and her bringing your ass back here."

"I, uh…s-she's just a friend," he said.

"A friend, huh?" Joline growled, getting up, "Well, I think you've been hanging around her way too damn much."

"N-no, I—"

"Yes, you fucking have been! You know, when _I_ had to go the grocery store because you were being such a whiny shit about your ribs hurting, she asked where _you_ were!"

Alex briefly wondered how Casey would've known who Joline was. If Joline had used her credit card and had to sign for the order, Casey would see her last name was 'Mercer' and asked if she was related to him.

"And you know what else?" Joline hissed, "She started asking if you really were as clumsy as you said! She looked at me like she thought _I_ was doing something wrong! Did you fucking tell her the goddamn truth?"

"No!" he lied quickly, "I-I know better than to do that…"

"I hope for your sake, you do," she growled and struck him across the face, then stalked off down the hallway.

She must not have been completely drunk yet or else he was sure she would've have beat him more than that. It must've been one of those rare, very rare, times she didn't drink as much because she was working on something. Then he noticed what it was that Joline was working on; packing. The living room held several cardboard boxes duct-taped shut with hand written labels on them. They didn't own very many things so it wouldn't have taken Joline long to box them up,

Alex went to Dana's room. She was awake, but not fussing, thankfully. She was happy to see him, but he didn't notice. The majority of Dana's things had also been packed. He darted across the hall to his room as saw his things had also been packed up. He heard Dana start to cry at his neglect, but it sounded so far away to him. How soon could they be moving that Joline would start this already?

"Would you shut her up?" Joline ordered, leaning out of her room, "And be ready to leave tomorrow."

"T…tomorrow…?" he repeated absently.

"Did I stutter? Yes, tomorrow," she growled.

_B-but Casey said…just three…_ he slumped to the floor, _Why…how can this…?_

"Alex!" Joline barked, "Move your ass and shut your sister up!"

He and Dana had been so close to a pleasant life, it was only three days away. Yet, Joline managed to crush that sliver of hope. She was going to move them now? It was the middle of the school year. Alex already had problems making friends and it would get harder if he had to transfer in the middle of the year. Besides, didn't Joline have a job? She couldn't possibly just quit and move in two days like this.

Joline did have a job, but not necessarily a legal one. It was the one that caused her husband, Alex's father, to leave her. It was also the reason she'd ended up in jail; prostitution. Luckily, her now ex-husband really was his father, she didn't start selling herself until after Alex had been born. However, the same could not be said for Dana.

Alex got up and went to his sister's room, feeling completely defeated. Dana stopped crying when she saw Alex again, she was just upset he had ignored her. He reached into her crib and picked her up to take her to the kitchen, since Joline probably didn't feed her dinner. Dana noticed her brother's depressed mood and tried to cheer him by playfully grabbing at his face.

"Dana, stop…" he murmured, taking and lowering her hands.

He got her food from the pantry, which was nearly empty now. After dinner, Dana kept trying to play with Alex but he just wasn't there. He simply sat back and watched her with hollow eyes, still trying to understand why he'd be given hope only to have it ripped away from him like this. Dana gave up playing with a whimper and crawled up to him.

"A'ex okay?" she asked, curling up to his chest.

"I'm fine," he said, smiling faintly at how she still couldn't pronounce his name.

"A'ex," she giggled.

"Alex," he corrected.

"A'ex" Dana repeated.

"Alex," he said, emphasizing the 'L'.

"A'hex."

He spent the rest of the evening trying to help her learn to pronounce a few words better, though she didn't make much progress. He wasn't sure if she was doing it intentionally, but it was a welcomed distraction. Sometime later, Dana fell asleep in his arms. Alex carried her back to her room and then went to his own. He didn't sleep well at all the night, if he slept at all. He just stared at the ceiling for the most part, dreading what tomorrow would bring.


	12. Settling In

January 15th, 1990

They had arrived in Las Vegas at their new house a few days ago, but the majority of their stuff was just now arriving by truck. The neighborhood wasn't anything fancy; in fact, it was more like a trailer with small houses instead of trailers and Joline fit right in. She had already made friends with their neighbors and was currently sitting with them on their porch, drinking and watching Alex move their things into the house, since they didn't have enough money to pay the movers to do it. In a bitter-sweet way, Alex was glad they were kind of poor; it meant less stuff for him to move.

After he was done bringing in boxes and unpacking, Joline sent him off to the grocery store. He hadn't been to the store yet because Joline hadn't bothered to give him money since their neighbors, her new friends, had invited her over for dinner every night since they moved. Joline would give the little amount of leftovers to Alex and say that it was good enough.

When he got back from the store, he opened the fridge to put some of the groceries away. However, when he did, he greeted by the worst smell in the world. The refrigerator held spoiled milk, molded cheese, rotten produce and every other thing that could go bad. Alex quickly slammed the door shut and staggered back, trying not to throw up. Evidently, Joline's mother passed away several weeks ago and no one cleaned out the fridge. The refrigerator must've had a good seal on it because none of them had noticed the rancid smell before.

Joline, seeing Alex was back, came back into the house to retrieve the money left over from the groceries and was greeted by the lingering stench.

"Good Jesus! What fuck is that?" she yelled covering her nose and mouth.

Alex didn't dare open his mouth to answer for fear of throwing up, instead he pointed to the fridge.

"Holy fuck, clean that shit out!" she said, grabbing the money off the counter and practically running back out of the house.

Alex opened all the windows and doors to air the house out as he emptied the refrigerator's contents into the garbage, all the while holding a kitchen towel over his mouth and nose to try to prevent himself from smelling the rotting food. Throwing out the full garbage bag, he sat on the porch for a few minutes, breathing the fresh air to calm his stomach. He was sure he would throw up his breakfast if he'd had any.

His rest was cut short by Joline barking at him to put away the groceries before those went bad as well. Alex grudgingly stood up and went back into the house to do as he was told. As he did, he wondered what happened back in New York when the CPS workers had shown up at their old home. Did they just let the case go or would Casey be pushing them to contact the Las Vegas CPS? He hoped it was the latter.

Later that night, as usual, Joline was out drinking, leaving Alex and Dana home alone again. Dana fell asleep early, giving Alex a chance to catch up on the homework his new teacher assigned him. His class was in the middle of several lesson units that didn't line up with what he had been learning at his old school. Thankfully, the homework wasn't difficult, there was just a lot of it. There was a considerable amount of English homework that took a while to finish, and history also took a long time, but that was because he found it to be rather boring. His math homework wasn't too bad, it was pretty close to what he'd had in New York. The only homework he actually found to be enjoyable was science.

It was a subject he'd always liked and because of that, he would occasionally be harassed by the class bully. He didn't let it bother him though, especially now. There was nothing a bully could do that could be worse than what Joline did.

Every now and then, when Joline was black-out drunk, even she would mock his liking of the subject, saying he got it from his father. He'd hoped that during those moments Joline might inadvertently reveal things about his father. But she didn't, she would only yell and complain about him leaving her. He did learn two things from these occurrences however. The first being that he looked so much like his father that Joline would only yell at him as if he were his father. Second was that his father's name was James. That had taken several drunken incidences of Joline calling Alex 'James' by mistake because it was also Alex's middle name. Tonight would be another one of those nights.

"James, you son of a bitch!" Joline shouted as she barged through the door.

"I'm Alex…" he sighed, closing his science book, knowing no work was going to get done beyond this point.

"Don't lie to me, you asshole!" she snapped and threw his homework from the table, "You always bury yourself in your fuckin' work, ever since I had _your _goddamn kid!"

Alex said nothing.

"Fine! Just fuckin' ignore me _again_! And you wonder why I started cheating on you," she grumbled and stalked off to her room.

Nights like these he was glad he looked so much like his father, it acted as a sort of a beating immunity for the night; Joline wouldn't dare to raise her hand at James. _That wasn't bad at all_, he thought, picking his stuff up off the floor, _She must have let it all out at the bar…_

_o0o0o0o0o0o0o_

**_Author_: not the best chapter, just something to bridge ch. 11 and 13**_  
_


	13. Anything for Her

September 4th, 1994

Joline wasn't bringing home as much money as before and welfare checks could only go so far. As much as he hated it, Alex had to resort to stealing to maintain their less than ideal lives. He never stole money or anything expensive, just what they needed. But today, he has his eyes set on something a little extra. Dana's first day of kindergarten was tomorrow, Alex had homeschooled her well enough for her to skip pre-school, and she had been begging him to get her a new outfit for said day. If he hadn't set up a TV and hooked it to the neighbor's cable to entertain her while he was at school, she probably wouldn't have that idea in her head. Dana also didn't want just any new outfit, she'd seen one in a store window as they walked home from the grocery store.

It was a skirt-dress with a white top and black with pink polka dot skirt, separated by a light pink ribbon and bow. Every time they walked by it, she would point it out and ask him to get it for her. Of course, not having any extra money and no desire to steal, Alex would tell her no. But Alex could only take so many heart-broken looks from his sister before he caved .

And now here he sat, on the curb of the street across from the store, contemplating how to go about stealing the skirt-dress. It was a small store, probably didn't even have a security camera, but that also meant whoever was at the register could more than likely see everything that happened in the store. He could just run in, grab it and run out, but experience told him such a strategy was a bad idea. Small stores were often stolen from and therefore many of them would not hesitate to give chase.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized he had no choice.

He pushed himself up off the sun-warmed concrete and started towards the store. He was reassured that he could out run the clerk just as he outran all the school bullies. He didn't just run, he jumped and hurled himself over objects to leave obstacles in the paths of his pursuers; he could parkour if he needed to. He wasn't an expert at it, but he was far better than anyone who tried to follow.

Alex took a deep breath and opened the door. The store clerk looked up at him, but said nothing. He only watched Alex closely. Alex walked as calmly as he could to the rack that held several hangers of the dress-skirt. What he hadn't given any thought to was what size Dana would need. He decided quickly and in the same motion, grabbed a hanger off the rack then turned and ran.

The store clerk shouted at him but Alex was already out of the door. The clerk didn't chase Alex, at least, not right away. He retrieved something from under the counter then stormed out onto the sidewalk.

"Hey, you little punk-ass shit!" he shouted.

Alex glanced over his shoulder and his face went pale as he saw what the man had grabbed from under the counter. The clerk raised the gun and took aim at Alex. Fear tripped Alex as the clerk pulled the trigger. The bullet sliced past his shoulder and pain immediately seared through him as he hit the ground. For a moment, the clerk thought he managed to stop Alex and advanced on him. Alex grunted as he scrambled to his feet, covering the wound with his hand and started running again. The store clerk screamed obscenities at him when he vanished around a corner.

Alex couldn't help but laugh a little as he continued home. That wasn't the closest he'd come to being caught, but it was probably the most dangerous situation his theft had gotten him in. He struggled a little with his house key to unlock the door, then pushed it open with his good shoulder and fell to floor when it opened with more ease than he expected.

"Are you okay?" Dana asked, standing over him. She'd heard him trying to open the door and had done so for him at the same time he pushed against it.

"I'm fine," he groaned, rolling onto his back.

"Nuh-uh! What happened?" she asked, noticing the blood running down his arm.

"It's nothing," Alex replied.

Dana pouted at him and disappeared off to the bathroom to retrieve their poor excuse of a first aid for him. While she was gone, he looked down at the dress-skirt he'd stolen. It was a little dirty from hitting the ground with him, but was otherwise fine. He was happy she hadn't noticed it clutched in his hand when he came inside, he wanted to surprise her with it. When he heard her coming back, he quickly threw it into the nearby coat closet.

The five year old helped him up to the kitchen, though he didn't need it. He hesitantly let go of his shoulder and a fresh wave of blood began to flow. Normally, any girl Dana's age would be repulsed by the sight, but she had seen nearly every injury he'd suffered and was used to it by now; it was only recently she started insisting on treating him every time he got hurt. Alex turned the sink on and rinsed the dried blood from his hand as Dana picked up a rectangular brown bottle.

"Why don't you let me do that?" he suggested, reaching for the hydrogen-peroxide.

"No, you're hurt. I can do it," she said.

She always poured too much on his wounds. Dana tipped the bottle over onto his shoulder. The clear liquid burned into the open cut as Alex gritted his teeth in pain. He knew she was just trying to help, but it was all he could do to stop from snapping at her. The hydrogen-peroxide continued to burn and bubble in the wound long after Dana set the bottle down. Alex wiped away the excess with a towel as Dana fumbled with the short roll of the remaining gauze tape. He held the gauze pad in place as she wrapped the tape around it. Although she didn't wrap it as tightly as she should have, it would work for now. Alex would just redo it when she went to sleep.

He could see she was about to ask how this had happened and interrupted her, "I got you a surprise."

"What is it?" she asked excitedly.

Alex stood up and went to the coat closet with Dana following closely.

"Something for you to wear on your first day of school," he said, pulling the dress skirt out of the closet.

The look on her face that followed was one of the few things that could make him happy anymore. He was always willing to do anything for her as long as the end result was that over joyed expression.


	14. Uprising, Part 1

September 5th, 1994

"Now wait just a goddamn minute," Joline grumbled.

Alex paused in the hallway with a sigh, Dana was waiting as patiently as possible for him in the living room.

"Just where the hell did Dana get that dress?" she demanded.

He knew this was coming. Ever since he got her that stuffed polar bear, anytime Dana got anything even remotely nice, there was always a punishment for him.

"I got it for her," he stated bluntly.

"With what?"

"Does it matter?" he snapped.

"Did you fucking _steal_ it?" she growled, keeping her voice low.

"Well, I sure as hell couldn't buy it. You spend all our money on booze," he cut. Over the past years, he'd gained the courage to talk back to Joline like that. It still resulted in harsh beatings, but he took them with a defiant look on his face now, determined not to let her break him. Joline crossed the hall to stand inches in front of Alex.

"What the fuck did you just say?" she seethed.

"You spend _all_ our money on booze," Alex repeated, turning on his heels and leaving before Joline could react.

In the living room, Dana was practically bouncing up and down on the couch. She wore her new dress, which Alex had washed last night, and already had her little back pack over her shoulders. All it held was her lunch and the few items from the school supply list she'd been given that Alex had managed to take unnoticed. Dana hopped off the couch.

"Can we go now?" she whined.

"Yes, we can go," he smiled faintly as he picked up his old, worn out back pack off the floor.

As soon as he opened the door, Dana ran out ahead of him. How could she be so excited? He'd never been that happy about going to school. But then again, he had reasons not to be; Dana didn't.

"Do you even know where you're going?" he called to her.

Dana stopped at the edge of the street and looked back at him. Of course, she had no idea where the school was, but she hoped that her running ahead would at least quicken her brother's pace. He knew that was what she wanted, so when he caught up to her, and she took his hand to pull forward to move a little faster, he let her.

The elementary school was only about half the distance to the high school from their house, which made it more convenient for Alex to drop her off and pick her up. When they got there, Alex stopped at the entrance. He wasn't feeling up to walking inside and receiving dirty looks from his past teachers. Even though he had been a good student academically, he never got along with his classmates. There were never any physical fights, but there didn't have to be to cause his teachers stress.

"You wait right here for me when school is over, alright?" he told her, kneeling down to her level.

"Okay," she smiled and hugged him, "But you better not be late."

"I won't be," he replied, standing and ruffling up her dark brown hair.

Dana scowled at him for a minute, fixing her hair and then skipped off to her class. Alex turned and left without making any eye contact with the other parents dropping off their children. Some of them were the parents of his classmates and they remembered him all too well.

His first day of the tenth grade, now high school, went fairly uneventful; nothing more than classmates whispering about him as he passed them. He could hear a few people whispering to each other, trying to figure what might've happened to his shoulder. He almost regretted wearing a tank top, but with how warm it was outside combined with the fact all his other shirts were dirty, he really didn't have much of a choice.

It wasn't until lunch period that something eventful actually happened. He sat off in the corner, by himself as usual. Once in a while, a student might work up the nerve to approach him and ask him to help with their math or science homework. But today, the student walking up to him had no such intention.

"Mercer!" he snapped.

Alex boredly glanced up and was met with a fist to the face. The force was enough to knock him out of his seat and flat onto to the floor.

"Wha…" Alex groaned, "What the hell!"

He staggered to his feet to see Braden Smith, a boy in his class who was particularly fond of bullying Alex. But it wasn't like Braden to just blindside Alex like that.

"What do you think!" he yelled, "I know what you did!"

"Then please, enlighten me," Alex sneered, "What did I do exactly?"

"You freaking _stole_ from my parents' shop!" Braden yelled, advancing on him.

Alex froze for a moment, processing what Braden had just said. Braden never had a reason to hate Alex, but now he did. Which meant school was about to get a lot worse. _Relax, you can talk your way out,_ he thought.

"Why the hell would I steal from your parents' shop?" he said smoothly.

"Because you're poor as shit," Braden deadpanned, Alex's lip twitched in offense.

"So you think I'd stoop that low? I didn't even know your parents had a store!" Alex replied, backing up in an attempt to restore some distance between the two of them.

"I don't know what you'd do! No one here does," Braden said, shoving Alex who stumbled back into a wall. Trying to talk his way out had failed him; now he had two choices: fight or flight. Braden pulled his hand back to hit Alex again.

In that heartbeat, something in Alex's mind snapped. He was done. Done with being verbally abused, done with being bullied, done with running. Just done with it all.

Alex snarled and lunged at Braden before he had a chance to swing. The boys fell to the floor, Braden pushed Alex off, making sure to hit his bandaged shoulder in the process. Braden was up first and moved to kick Alex, but all the years of running parkour to avoid this exact situation had made him quick and agile. He rolled to avoid Braden's foot and launched himself back up at the boy. This time it was Alex's fist that collided with Braden's face. Both boys, as well as the gathering crowd, heard sickening cracks. Braden fell to the ground and Alex recoiled in pain, cradling his hand to his chest.

The principle had finally forced his way through the crowd of students to see Braden writhing and wailing on the floor, covering his face, and Alex attempting to slink away. The principle grabbed Alex by the shoulder, not the injured one at least, and spun him around.

"Where do you think you're going?" he spat.

_I don't know, somewhere away from here…._ Alex thought absently.

"My office, _now_!" he yelled, pushing Alex in the direction of his office.

As he stepped over Braden, he couldn't help but give the bully a proud look. Even if the boy couldn't see it.


	15. Uprising, Part 2

Three day suspension. That was his punishment. It would've been worse but a few students actually sided with Alex and told the principle that it was Braden who started the fight. However, it didn't change the fact that Alex had broken Braden's face along with a few bones in his own hand. The school nurse didn't have enough experience to try to reset the bones in his right middle and ring finger and bind them with metal encased blue squishy foam so he had been taken to the hospital along with Braden. As he was leaving, he overheard Braden's parents on the phone talking to the principle. They wanted a more severe punishment for Alex, Braden's mother had even suggested to her husband that they press charges.

A short laugh escaped him, even if they did press charges, they couldn't possibly get anything worthy of their time out of it. _Another good thing about being poor,_ he thought bitterly.

He decided to make his way down to Dana's elementary, where she was waiting for him. She stood by the school's entrance, just like he told her to, talking with a few other kids that must've been in her class. The fact they were still there told him he wasn't that late in picking her up. When she saw Alex, waved good-bye to her new friends, and ran up to him.

Dana noticed her brother's new injuries and wanted to ask what happened, but the hints of residual anger on his face told her not to. She decided to wait until later to ask.

"Sorry I'm late," he apologized.

"It's okay," she smiled, taking his left hand.

"Who're those kids?" he asked nodding back to them as they left.

"They're my friends," Dana beamed.

One day at school and she already had more friends than he did, which was none. _One day,_ he scowled inwardly. Dana then proceeded to tell him _everything_ about her first day at school, from the moment he dropped her to the moment he picked her up. Her story took up the entire time it took them to get home, and even then it didn't stop.

When he opened the door, both of them immediately saw Joline sitting on the couch looking beyond angry.

"Dana, go to your room," Alex whispered in her ear.

She nodded and scampered off. She knew what happened between Joline and Alex and it scared her every time. The only way to make it less frightening was by sending her to her room so she couldn't see. Alex dropped his back pack on the floor with a heavy thud.

"Are you some kind of fucking animal?" Joline growled.

"What are you talking about?"

"You broke a goddamn kid's face, what the fuck did you think I was talking about?" she snarled, standing up.

"How did you…" he started, confused.

Joline pulled a little silvery object of her pocket and held it up. A cell phone. _When the hell did she get that?_ he wondered. The principle must have called her and told her about the incident or maybe the hospital had called her for insurance information since Alex didn't know it, but they probably didn't have insurance anyway.

"Do you have any fucking idea how embarrassing for me to have to leave a party because my pathetic excuse of a son broke someone's face?" she demanded.

"Sorry they expected you to act like a parent," he replied hotly.

"You know, I am getting so goddamn sick of your attitude and behavior lately."

"I've been sick of _your_ behavior for last four and half years!" he shot.

They both went silent. Alex couldn't believe he said that out loud, but nonetheless, he didn't regret it. Joline was livid, she hadn't been so angry with him in years. In only a few strides, she was right in front of him swinging her arm. Then the same feeling Alex felt after Braden punched him over came him again. Alex caught her arm by the wrist with his good hand and glared up at her. Her anger began to fade quickly; that look on his face was so familiar. It was the same look James had when he told her they were through.

Joline her head to clear it of the memory and wrenched her hand away from Alex. She was still very much angry with him, but for once she had no words to express it. She let out a frustrated yell, grabbed her purse and stormed out of the house. Alex stood in place a minute longer before sinking onto the couch and cradling his head in his hands, trembling. The day had started out fairly normal, how did it end with him putting a kid in the hospital and standing up against Joline? He took deep breaths to try to calm down enough to stop shaking, but it wasn't working.

"Alex…?" Dana called in a soft, small voice.

He took one more deep breath, then lifted his head to look at her.

"What happened?" she asked.

"…Nothing…nothing happened…" he answered; he still couldn't believe it himself.

"What about what happened to your face and hand? Did someone else do that to you?" Dana dared to ask, "You weren't hurt when you left me at school…"

"Don't worry about it," he murmured, standing back up.

Alex walked into the kitchen to look for something, anything, to eat since he didn't have a chance to eat his lunch earlier. Despite the limited selection of food, there was enough for him to make something simple, like a sandwich. Well, it would be simple if he had full use of his right hand. The metal and foam casting completely immobilized his middle and ring finger, which turned out to be more of a hassle than first thought it would be as he found when trying to open a jar of peanut butter.

He all but slammed the jar onto to counter in frustration and ran a hand through his hair.

"I can make it for you…" Dana offered.

Alex turned and looked at her skeptically; she had never made anything in her life.

"I've seen you do it a bunch of times, it doesn't look that hard."

"Go for it," he sighed, stepping aside for her.

What was he going to do anyway? Tell her no, get angry with his inability to make a sandwich, and go hungry? If she wanted to help, that was fine by him. He leaned against the opposite wall and watched her attempt to make food for the first time. Of course, she did it clumsily and made something of a mess he would have to clean later, but for now, Alex just laughed.


	16. Declaration of War

September 9th, 1994

It was his first day back to class after his suspension. Alex had considered not going because it was a Friday, one day and then the weekend. But his suspension hadn't even been remotely pleasant. The first day, Joline came home, drunk as usual, and started a nasty argument with him that resulted in him stalking out of the house. The second day, the argument resumed, but Joline was the one to leave this time. The third day, no arguments were had, but the entire day had been extremely tense.

Alex dropped Dana off at elementary and made his way to the high school. The students there were more wary of him now. They moved out of his way, stopped their quiet gossiping, and tried to avoid eye contact.

Except for one. Braden.

From his seat in their history class, he glared at Alex. But his glare was hardly noticeable compared to his dark violet and crimson nose and cheeks. He really had done quite of bit of damage to Braden's face. Alex took his seat a few desks away from Braden and pretended to ignore him. Several students glanced nervously between the two of them, some of them secretly hoping for another fight. As the teacher walked in, he gave both boys a warning look, and then began his lecture.

A few minutes into class, Alex gave up trying to take notes; he could hardly hold the pencil, let alone write coherently, and he couldn't write with his left hand at all. He leaned back into his seat with a sigh and listened intently, unlike Braden who hadn't taken his eyes off Alex for more than a second. He sneered at Braden who, for a moment looked a little surprised, then went back to glaring at him more intensely and nearly crushing his pencil against the desk.

When the bell rang and the class was let out, Braden stood hastily and went straight for the door. As he walked out, he made sure to aggressively but 'accidentally' bump into Alex, knocking him against the frame of the door. Braden threw a spiteful and proud look back at Alex. Alex narrowed his eyes and started after him, but then stopped. _He's just trying to antagonize me,_ he told himself.

And he was right. All throughout the day, Braden did little infuriating things to try to set Alex off. The only peaceful time he had was during his two science classes, his advanced placement science classes, chemistry and biology. Both teachers in those classes gave him packets of homework he had missed and told him to ask his classmates to explain the lessons to him. _Like that's gonna happen_, he thought. He was smart enough to figure it out on his own, plus he was sure none of the other students were that willing to help him anyway.

After the respite of his science classes, Braden was back to antagonizing him until the end of the day. With classes over and as he walked outside, Alex turned on Braden.

"Why the hell can't you leave me alone?" Alex snarled.

"I don't know, what makes you think you can break my nose and get away with it?" Braden replied hotly.

"…You're kidding right? Where do you think I've been the past three days, hiding from _you_?" he scoffed.

"I would think you'd be hiding from _us_," Braden held out his arms.

As if on cue, two of his friends exited through the school doors and stood behind him. Alex took a cautious step back, considering his choices. If it were just Braden, he could probably win, but with it now being three on one, running seemed like the smarter idea. He took a few more steps back as the boys began to advance on him, Braden leading, of course. As much as he wanted to fight, he knew it would not end well for him. He set his jaw as he made his decision.

He struck Braden in the stomach, knocking him into the other boys and took off running. He heard Braden swear loudly and it wasn't long before they were up and after him. The odds may have been against him in a fight, but they were in his favor when it came to running and shaking off pursuers; he did steal relatively often after all. Alex bolted down the sidewalk and skidded around a corner into an alleyway and dove behind an empty metal trash can.

"Where'd he go?" Braden yelled when they caught up.

"He probably used the alley to double back to the school," one the answered.

_Damn, that would've been a better idea_, Alex thought. It wasn't a dead end alleyway, he could've done that. He remained perfectly still behind the trash can and breathed as softly as possible to keep quiet. What felt like an eternity passed before Braden gave up and shouted angrily, kicking a nearby cardboard box as they started to walk away. Alex let out a sigh of relief and relaxed, accidently scooting the metal trash can across the pavement a few inches. He immediately tensed up again as Braden turned around slowly and approached his hiding spot.

"Mercer," he growled.

Alex hooked the garbage can by its handle flung it up at Braden and then took off again. It must have knocked him out because Braden didn't get up and his friends ran to his side. Realizing this, Alex slowed down and changed course to the elementary.

Just like the past few days, Dana waited for him by the entrance, talking excitedly with her friends.

"You're late, again!" she scolded him in a light-hearted tone.

"I know, I'm sorry," he replied, catching his breath.

So far this week, not once had Alex managed to get to the elementary on time, even though he was on suspension. He felt bad for being late, but he would feel even worse if Dana had to wait for him by herself. Now, if Braden intended to keep this up, the only way he could pick her up on time would be if he left class early. Maybe if he told the teacher of his last class he had to class early to get Dana, she would understand and let him go.

Or think he was lying. He'd built that reputation up over the years by making up reasons why he was late, absent, falling asleep in class, or showing up with new bruises every other day.

As they walked home, he spotted Braden's friends helping the still dazed boy back home. They saw Alex as well, but did nothing expect shot him dirty looks. This was going to be a regular thing now.

"Who're they?' Dana asked.

"Guys in my class," he answered shortly, looking away from them.

"Do you know what's wrong with the one in the middle?" she asked, peering around him to get a better look.

"Nope," he stated, moving to obstruct her view.

o0o0o0o0o0o

_**Author: **_**would you guys prefer the chapters be a little longer than this or is it okay?**


	17. Melting Ice

October 28th, 1994

"Hey, Alex…?" Dana called, poking her head into her brother's room. He sat on his bed with several open textbooks, working on his advanced science homework.

"Hmm?" He would've replied with 'what' but that would only worsen his spilt lip and bruised mouth, courtesy of Braden.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he mumbled, turning away from his homework.

Alex noticed she was holding a very bright orange piece of paper and he had a feeling he knew what was on it. _Some school event_, he thought distantly. Alex had never gone to any of the events put on during his elementary years and now the only ones he could go to were sporting events and dances. He grimaced at the thought of so many people gathering and socializing at those events.

Dana climbed up on his bed and sat next to him, holding out the paper.

"My class is having a Halloween party on Thursday, can I go?" she asked eagerly.

Alex took the bright paper, decorated with black pictures and lettering, and read over it. The party was at the local recreation center later on in the evening and only lasted for a few hours. He didn't really have a problem with her going; it would be a lot safer than trick-or-treating. This was Las Vegas after all.

"I don't see why not," he answered, barely moving his mouth.

"And you'll go too?" she asked, seeming a little surprised.

He paused and looked at the paper again; each student must have a guardian in attendance with them. _Of course, _Alex thought with a sigh. He really didn't want to be around so many people if he didn't have to, especially parents, but he'd already gotten Dana's hopes up.

"Yeah," he replied finally.

"Really?"

Alex nodded.

"You're the best!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug before skipping off back to her own room.

If it made her that happy, he supposed he could try to deal with the other parents for a little while. He turned back to his homework and continued studying in peace for an hour or so before Joline got home. When she did get home, she apparently invited the neighbors over for more drinking. They were getting louder and more obnoxious by the minute, eventually breaking Alex's focus on his assignment. He closed the textbooks and tossed them onto the floor before falling back onto his bed. He hoped after a couple hours that they might start to settle down, but they didn't. He would have to go out to the living room and tell them to shut up so he and Dana could sleep.

Alex groaned as he got up and opened his door, greeted by the smell of alcohol. He trudged down the hallway to the living room where Joline sat drinking and yelling with her 'friends'. He still wasn't convinced they were any more than drinking buddies, just like back in New York.

"Hey, boy! Haven't seen much of you lately," one them chimed upon noticing him. Alex had made it a point over the years to remain scare of them.

"Where the fuck have you been hiding?" Joline asked, her cheery mood quickly disappearing.

"Can't you get wasted somewhere else? We're trying to sleep," he said, ignoring her question.

"No, this is _my_ goddamn house and I'll drink here if I damn well want," Joline snapped.

"Then at least shut the hell up," Alex replied hotly.

"I swear to God, if _you_ don't shut up and leave," Joline growled, getting up, "Then I'll—"

"You'll what?" he cut, his lip splitting open again, "Give out empty threats and go back to drinking?"

Joline's friends had quieted down and watched them intently until one of the whispered to the others that they should probably leave. They nodded in agreement and left, Joline didn't even notice they were leaving until after they had gone.

"Now look what you did, you little shit! You chased them off!"

"Good! Now if you would go too, then that'd be perfect!"

Joline snarled and stormed towards Alex. But he wasn't afraid; all she dared to do lately was slap him. However, he was too focused on staring her straight in the eyes to realize the hand she raised to hit him still held a glass bottle. The glint of the bottle caught his attention as he came down towards his face. Alex immediately threw his left arm up in defense just in time; the bottle shattered against his skin, decorating his arm with fresh cuts, glass shards, and beer. He suppressed a howl of pain as the alcohol seeped into the open wounds.

He snatched the remaining portion of the bottle out her hands, threw it into the wall on the otherside of the room and glared up at her hatefully before stalking away to the bathroom. Shortly after, he heard Joline letting out of string of profanity that was obviously meant for him. He tuned her out as he slowly and carefully picked the remaining shards of dark green glass out of the cuts, rinsed his arm off with disinfectant and wrapped it up.

With Joline's friends being gone, and Joline herself being relatively quiet, maybe now he could get enough sleep.

Over the next couple days, Alex made sure to wear a light jacket to cover up his bandaged arm. He was really starting to detest all the attention his injuries brought him and tried to hide them now. When Halloween came around, the cuts were healed enough to not need anything to cover them. During their walk to the recreation center, Alex wasn't excited at all, unlike Dana who barely contain herself. He hoped he could just sit back in a corner, away from everyone, for the night.

As soon as they entered the building, Alex noticed it was a little chilly in the building. He glanced around and saw an ice-skating rink a dozen yards off to his right. Now he wished he had worn his jacket. He settled for an empty table near a low power heater. Alex sat and idly traced his fingers along small writings and drawings left on the table by other people who were probably as bored as he was. A half hour had scarcely passed before he was completely bored out of his mind, wishing he'd brought his homework along with a jacket. Then Dana came stumbling over to him, still wearing a pair of ice skates, which he was sure she shouldn't be wearing off the ice.

"Come skate with me!" she smiled, tugging at his hand.

"Why don't you skate with you friends?" he said, not really wanting to embarrass himself.

"Cause they're tired and wanna go do something else," she pouted, "Please?"

Alex thought it over for a second, then muttered, "Alright, fine…"

She jumped up and down in excitement, almost falling over if Alex hadn't caught her to steady her. Dana led the way to counter handing out pairs of ice-skates and told Alex he had to make sure they were tied extra tight otherwise skating would be much more difficult. Everytime he tied them, Dana told him they weren't tight enough and he had to redo them until she was satisfied. _Any tighter and I'm going to lose circulation,_ he thought grimly as he stood up. Walking with skates on was harder than he expected, he staggered over to the rink and held onto the outside edge for minute, watching the people skating around in a giant oval.

Several other parents and older siblings were skating with the younger students; at least he wouldn't be the only one. That thought did little to comfort him as Dana pushed him towards the ice. As soon as he stepped onto the ice, he almost slipped and fell, grabbing onto the edge again as if his life depended on it. Dana laughed at him and gracefully hoped on the ice next to him, gliding around in front of him.

"Come on!" she said, tugging at his hand again.

Alex hesitantly let go of the siding, holding his arms out to balance himself. Dana watched with amusement.

"How…do I move…?" he asked, straightening up.

"Like this," Dana said, shifting her weight to one leg and pushing off with the other.

She glided several feet ahead of him, then turned to stop and watched him expectantly. Alex slowly shifted his weight to one leg and immediately his feet went out from under him. He landed roughly on his side on the frozen surface. He rolled onto his back, groaning in pain, and tried to get up. Every attempt he made sent him back to the icy ground. _Screw this!_ he thought angrily as he moved to his hands and knees and crawled back to the edge.

"Aww, Alex, please don't go," Dana whined, skating up to him with the same pouting expression that had gotten him out there.

It was almost as if she knew that face could get him to do anything she wanted. He grunted as he reached up to edge and shakily pulled himself back to his feet.

"Here you go," she giggled and gave him a push as soon as he let go of the rink's siding.

He was able to glide a few feet, but just as before, as soon as he went to push off to gain momentum his feet went out from under him. He landed hard on the ice again. Alex scrambled to his feet again as Dana skated up next to him. She didn't laugh this time, instead she smiled sympathetically at him.

"I'll help you," she said.

Alex gave her a warning look that told her if she pushed him again, he was leaving no matter how much she whined and begged him to stay. He took her hand and she turned and started skating, pulling him along with her. They weren't going as fast as some of the others, and he could tell it was hard work for her to drag him along, but she was just happy he was out on the ice with her.

After a while, Dana's friends skated back onto the ice, much to Alex's relief. He left her with them and quickly exited to rink, ripping off the skates and dropping them off at the counter they had come from. He sat back down at the far table by the heater and huddled closer to it to warm back up.

"I think I owe you an apology…"

Alex glanced up to see Dana's teacher taking a seat beside to him.

"She always talks about what a great brother you are, but I didn't believe her given your behavior and appearance."

He huffed and looked back at the rink.

"But, seeing that cute little act out there, maybe you aren't so terrible after all," she said with a warm smile.

Alex could feel his cheeks burning up as a slight blush made its way onto his face.

"I'll leave you alone," the teacher laughed, getting up and walking away.

o0o0o0o0o

_**Author:**_** sorry it took a little while longer to update. serious case of writer's block, y'know?**


	18. Accusation

November 1st, 1994

Ice skating hadn't been the only thing to do, just Dana's favorite, there had also been plenty of games the students could play to win candy, since it was Halloween. When Dana had finally decided she was done skating, she went to play those games and won a considerable amount of candy. Though Alex had advised her not to, Dana ate nearly all her prize candy. Now she was curled up under a blanket, clutching her stuffed polar bear, on the couch with a stomach ache and staying home from school. If she were anyone else, he would've said 'I told you so' and left them to deal with it, but she wasn't anyone else.

Alex sifted through the poorly stocked pantry and refrigerator, looking for anything that might help make her feel better. The only thing he found was a half-eaten box of saltine crackers that were beyond stale. He sighed and walked back into the living room, empty handed, and knelt down beside the couch.

"I'm gonna go to the store to get you something," he said softly, "I'll be back in a bit, okay?"

Dana nodded and pulled the blanket over her head. Alex retrieved his jacket, which he would need to smuggle stuff out of the store, and left. On his way to the store, he was trying to decide if food or medicine would be better for Dana. _We do need food, but medicine would probably settle her stomach ache faster and it's easier to hide…_

Alex had stolen, as much as he hated to use that word, from this store fairly often. The store had no security and the employees didn't seem all that concerned when things went missing. But that had changed now; the employees were more wary of him and there were a couple plain-clothes security guards walking around. He would have to be quick and discreet, not that he was ever slow or obvious.

He took off his jacket as he walked into the store and went straight for the aisle that shelved medicine. He spotted the pink bottle of Pepto-Bismol right away, it stood out like a sore thumb from the rest of the pale and dark colored bottles and boxes. Alex swiped a small bottle off the shelf as he walked past it and loosely wrapped his jacket around It; to anyone who didn't know what he did, it looked like he was only holding his jacket in his hand. Just as he was leaving the store, a strong hand clamped down on his shoulder.

"Tell me you ain't trying to steal that."

_Goddammit…._

"Let's go," he sighed, taking Alex back to the store's little security office.

While the security guard filled out a couple loss prevention papers, Alex sat slumped in a chair with his arms crossed and glared fiercely at the tiled floor. Halfway through the papers, the man stopped and looked at Alex, who turned his icy blue eyes to meet with the man's eyes. He shifted uncomfortably and glanced down at the paper, all that was left to write down was the answers to questions he had to ask Alex.

"What's your name, kid?" he asked.

"Alex," he answered shortly.

"And your last name."

"….Mercer," Alex mumbled.

"Joline's kid, huh?" the man laughed half-heartedly, "I feel sorry for you."

As it turned out, the guard had had to escort a drunken Joline off the store's property several times. Alex didn't say anything to him and returning his staring back to floor. He asked Alex a few more questions, to which Alex remained as vague as possible. A few minutes later, a police officer came into the room. The security officer handed the loss prevention papers to the policeman who then motioned for Alex to follow him.

"W-wait a second," Alex breathed, "Am I…am I being _arrested_?"

"The store's got you on video stealin' other stuff," the policeman said, "Just took this long for security to catch ya."

The policeman unhooked a pair of handcuffs from his belt, turned Alex around, and locked them onto his wrists. He then led Alex out to the patrol car. As they walked back through the store, it felt like the longest couple of minutes in his life. He felt like everyone was staring and whispering to each other about him, which they probably were. He wanted to run away, but the officer, 'J. Heller' as his badge read, kept firm grip on Alex's arm.

In the patrol car, Officer Heller tried to talk to Alex to easy his rising panic. However, Alex wouldn't say a word to him and simply stared at the floor of the car. In the police station, he sat in a chair, maintaining his gaze on the floor until he was instructed to get up. When he did, he glanced up and saw his mother coming towards him. _This day could not get any worse…_

"Well, as we told you over the phone, Ms. Mercer, your son was caught stealing—" Officer Heller began.

"You little piece of shit!" Joline hissed at Alex, "This isn't how I fucking raised you!"

"You didn't raise me at all," Alex growled through gritted teeth.

"Don't you know better than to fucking steal? I know you aren't a goddamn moron."

"What did you think I was doing? You don't get enough money from—"

"Shut up!" she interrupted before Alex had a chance to point out she was back to prostitution in front of a room full of cops.

"Ms. Mercer, please," Officer Heller stepped in between the two to prevent the argument from continuing, "Since he never stole anything expensive, and given your apparent financial situation—"

"Well now they know we're broke thanks to you," she snapped her son, who glared in return.

"_Ms. Mercer_," Officer Heller barked, Joline fell silent, "As I was saying, since he didn't steal anything important or expensive, we're gonna give him a little break. He's just going to stay here through the weekend."

"Keep the little brat as long as you want," Joline said, turning and leaving.

Officer Heller, and a few other policemen, stared after Joline in shock. Officer Heller let out a sigh and turned to Alex to take him to a holding cell.

"I think living with her might be worse than stayin' here, goddamn…," he muttered.

Alex gave a slight nod in agreement.

It had been decided that Alex could be allowed to remain in his own clothes instead of the orange jumpsuit other criminals had to wear, since he would only be there a few days. In the cell to his left was a boy a few years older who watched Alex like he was a target. He made a point to stay away from the bars that separated the two of them. A few minutes after he had been locked in, another officer brought in two boys more his age that acted like they were the coolest criminals since Al Capone. They spouted off insults at the policeman until he left, then they turned on Alex. He wanted to switch cells with the boy on his left, not because he wanted more space from the two idiots, but because they kept getting right up to the dividing bars. If he switched with the other boy, then maybe he would reach through and choke them like Alex was sure he wanted to do to him.

He settled against the wall, as far away from the jabbering boys as he could without getting too close to the one he thought might try to kill him. He glanced up along the wall, deciding to entertain himself with the writings left behind by others. Some were slightly amusing, sad, hateful, or scared while others made little sense, having been written by druggies who were still high. One caught his attention though; the scraggly writing said 'They're all watching'.

Alex read over it again then slowly looked around. The boys on his right were still looking at him, talking smack. The boy on his left hadn't broken his gaze. Police officers outside the cell continuously glanced up and watched them for a minute or two. Cameras in the upper corners of the ceiling kept their lenses fixed on him with their little blinking red light. They were all watching him, making him feel like he had absolutely no privacy; self-conscious and paranoid.

Alex shrunk further against the wall. As much as he hated living with Joline, he would rather be fighting with her instead of being stuck in cell, listening to two idiots who wouldn't shut up and being under constant watch like he was a psychopath.

Over the weekend, he re-read that little scribble dozens of times and his paranoia worsened. The boys hadn't stop with their fool-hardy threats of beating him and the boy in the other cell never changed his expression. When Officer Heller let him out, he was almost certain that he would let the other three out right behind him. They were in holding cells, not actually sentenced to anything, just like he was. Alex did his best hide that gnawing fear and walk calmly out of the police department, but once he was out of the door, his paranoia got the better of him and he took off running as fast as he could. The people who stopped and stared at him only worsened the paranoia, but of course they would stare. He was a fairly dirty looking teenager hauling ass away from a police station.

He didn't slow down until he finally got home. He slammed the door shut and slumped against it to floor, gasping for breath as he cradled his head in his hands. Dana poked her head around the corner of the hallway to see what had caused the sudden noise.

"Alex!" she cried, running over to him and throwing her arms around him, "How come you didn't come back?"

He didn't react or even answer her; he wasn't going to tell his innocent little sister he'd been arrested for stealing. He dragged his hands over his face as he lifted his head and put an arm around her, hugging her closer.

"Mom came home really mad and I was really scared, where were you?" she cried, burying her face into his chest.

"Dana, I'm sorry, I…" he trailed off, taking noticing a small bruise on the side her face, "Did she hit you…?"

She nodded, crying too much to say anything, and tightened her hold on his shirt. Now Joline had crossed a line. For years, he thought in the back of his mind there was a sort of understanding that she could do whatever she wanted with him so long as she left Dana alone. But clearly, that wasn't the case; she'd just been waiting for him to be gone for more than an hour.

Hours later, Dana started to fall asleep. Alex picked her up and carried her to room. When he set her down, she refused to let go, just like when she was a baby, but he promised her he wasn't going anywhere and she hesitantly let go of him. He went back to the living room, sat on the couch with his arms crossed, glaring hatefully at the front door, and waited for Joline to get home.


	19. Lesson Learned

It was nearly four in the morning and Alex had never wanted to sleep more than he did now, but he forced himself to stay awake. She had came home, furious with Alex, and taken it out on Dana. She needed to know he wouldn't allow that, no matter how angry she was with him, she was never to harm Dana. The sound of a key struggling to open a door snapped him wide awake.

"Ugh, you found your way home…" Joline grumbled, pausing in the doorway.

He remained silent.

Joline shut the door behind her; for once, not slamming it. When she walked past him, he spoke up.

"You _hit_ Dana," he said, standing up and turning to face her.

"So what? She made me drop the damn six pack," Joline shrugged.

"Those things aren't even expensive!"

"Did you already forget we don't have—"

Alex's fist connected with Joline's face and sent her back into the wall with a loud thud. She collapsed to the floor and, once she could focus again, stared at him dumbfounded. Alex was surprised at himself as well, but didn't show it. He kneeled down next her with his icy blue eyes piercing into her and tensed his muscles in case Joline tried to hit back or even if she said anything. He hoped she do something, _anything_, to give him an excuse to hit her again.

"Don't you _ever_ touch her again," he growled furiously.

He stood up and stormed off to his room, leaving Joline in shock. Had it not been four in the morning, he would've slammed the door. Instead, he closed it as quietly as he could. Alex climbed into his bed and buried himself beneath the blankets, trying to get away from his thoughts; sleep wasn't coming easily to him now. Alex heard his door creak open slowly and peered at it from under his pillow to see a very sleepy Dana standing there.

"Dana, what're you doing up? You should be sleeping," he said quietly, sitting up.

"What was that loud noise?" she asked, ignoring him and stifling a yawn.

"Joli—…Mom…lost her balance," he lied, "And fell into the wall."

"Oh," Dana replied simply.

Alex got up and crossed his room towards her and scooped her up to take her back to her room. Dana locked her arms around his neck, "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Dana—"

"I missed you…" she yawned.

"…Fine, just tonight though, alright?" Alex sighed and turned back to his bed.

She barely moved her head in a nod. She definitely knew how to get him to do what she wanted. As soon as he pulled the blanket up over them, she was fast asleep again. However, Alex still couldn't fall asleep. He stared blankly at the wall as the remaining hours of night ticked by.

When daylight came, Alex carefully got up so as not to disturb Dana; she didn't need to be awake yet. He grabbed a change of clothes and took them with him to the bathroom to change into after a quick shower. Then he went to the kitchen to start making breakfast for the both of them. He paused when he saw Joline sleeping on the couch. The bruise on her face was a deep violet color and nearly the size of an apple; she looked almost as bad as Braden had when he broke his nose. Alex didn't feel bad about it in the slightest.

Dana woke up when Alex was halfway through making her breakfast, choosing not to make his own. When Dana asked why he wasn't eating, he simply told her he wasn't hungry, though in truth he was starving. They already didn't have a lot of food and now that stealing was out of the question, since it had scared him enough, the only way to make it last was for someone to eat less. His stomach grumbled loudly in protest, earning a childish scowl from Dana. She pushed her plate towards him.

"I'm not hungry," he repeated, pushing it back to her as his stomach grumbled again.

"Nu-huh," she disagreed, sliding the plate across the table once more.

"Dana, I'm not hungry," Alex said firmly, giving the plate back, "Just eat your breakfast, we're leaving for school in a few minutes."

He stood up and left the table before Dana had a chance to make a face at him. He went to his room and gathered up his books in his back pack, as well as Dana's, and returned to the kitchen. He really didn't want to go school today, not that he ever really did, but he had to get the homework he missed from Friday. Some of his classes were ones that a student couldn't afford to fall behind in.

Dana put her plate in the sink as Alex came back to the kitchen, took her back pack from him and followed him out the front door. On their way, Dana wanted to talk to Alex, but it seemed like he wasn't in the mood for it. She held his hand tighter and kept her eyes on the ground in disappointment until they reached her school. Dana hugged him good bye before skipping off to meet up with her friends, leaving him to trudge onto to the high school.

Throughout his classes, Alex could barely focus because of the gnawing hunger. For once, lunch period was something he was looking forward to. Even though the welfare lunch provided by the school wasn't the best, it was food and it was free so he didn't complain. After lunch, he could focus better, which was good since he now had his advanced classes, but he was still hungry. As he took notes, in the back of his mind he tried to figure out a way to provide more food for Dana and himself. Joline could starve for all he cared. The only way he could come up with was to get a job and he couldn't do that for about eight more months when he turned sixteen.

o0o0o0o0o0o

_**Author:**_** Ugh, another short chapter…don't worry, I'll get to writing longer chapters after this.**


	20. Heating and Cooling

May 15th, 1997

Evidently a number of places weren't too willing to hire someone who'd been caught stealing and been involved in a considerable number of fights at school. It had taken some time, but Alex had finally managed to land a job. He'd been hired on at nearby warehouse loading dock last summer. The employer had been skeptical of hiring Alex, not for the reasons other stores were, but because he wasn't sure Alex could handle all the physical demands of the job. He was physically fit from all his fights, but he was a little small for a seventeen year old; a direct result of malnutrition. The employer decided to give him a short trial at the job and was pleasantly surprised by Alex's endurance. However, because of the physical demands of working at a loading dock, almost any free time Alex had was spent sleeping.

He had tried several times to stay awake because Dana insisted on playing with him, but on days he worked especially long shifts, he was lucky if he could keep his eyes open. But Natasha's mother, Natasha being one of Dana's friends, offered to babysit her while he was at work. He didn't want Dana home alone and bored out of her mind. Joline been staying out later more often; not that that was necessarily a bad thing, it just meant she was bringing money home less frequently and spending it at bars more.

"Hey, Mercer," Johnson greeted dully.

Alex acknowledged the older man with a grunt, exhaling the smoke of a cigarette. It was a bad habit he'd picked up from one of the other younger guys who worked at the dock. Not to mention it was also relatively expensive. Johnson sat down on the concrete ledge beside Alex; it was usually where most workers took their break.

"So I hear you're gonna be the valedictorian at your school," Johnson said, trying to make conversation.

"Yeah," Alex replied shortly.

"Got your speech all written out?"

"Not writing one."

"Just gonna wing it or somethin'?" Johnson asked, a little concerned.

"Nope," Alex sighed, "I'm not giving a speech because I'm not going to graduation."

"…What?"

Alex was going to be the valedictorian, there was no doubt there, but he refused to attend the graduation ceremony and give any kind of class speech. He couldn't care less about his class and he knew they felt the same about him. All he wanted was his high school diploma and since they weren't actually handed out at graduation, only their holders were, he didn't see why he should go. His decision was solidified by his despise of public speaking.

"Well…well, you have to! It's your graduation, it's not an everyday thing," Johnson protested, "Plus, not everyone can be a valedictorian."

"I know."

He'd already heard this from the principle. The principle had tried everything he could think of to persuade Alex otherwise, telling him he'd only have this chance once, that he'd never have to see any of the students again; he even tried bribing him. While the last was tempting for obvious reasons, Alex still turned him down. Alex inhaled the last of the cigarette and then scrubbed the butt into the concrete before flicking the butt off the ledge.

"What the hell is wrong with you, kid…?" Johnson shook his head.

"A lot of things, I'm sure," Alex answered, getting up to go back to work.

Alex's shift seemed to drag on forever, even though it was one of the few days he off before nightfall. As he left the warehouse, he checked his wallet for money, planning on getting a few groceries on the way home. The worn out wallet held only three crumbled singles. It should have held at least forty dollars. He felt his lip twitch in anger as he angrily stuffed the wallet back into his pocket and stormed home. It wasn't hard to figure out what had happened to his money; Joline took it.

The walk home should have given him a chance to cool off a little, but not this time. The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. Why couldn't she at least be a halfway decent person? Aside from being an alcoholic, she was also more than likely still a prostitute and a terrible excuse for a mother. No, she didn't even deserve to be called a mother. She didn't raise him or Dana. Alex was more of a parent than she was.

He flung the front door open to find Joline sitting lazily on the couch, flipping through TV channels. That was another thing she was wasting money on, they didn't need cable TV, or really anything Joline bought.

"What's that look for?" she grunted.

"You fucking stole money," Alex seethed, "Right out of my wallet."

"You sure you didn't spend it on that nasty smoking habit of yours?"

Alex was pissed beyond words; she was one to talk about bad habits. He crossed the living room to the kitchen where her purse sat on the counter. He snatched it up, dug through it, and retrieved his forty dollars. Then he held up the bills with a furious glare for her to plainly see before stuffing it into his pocket.

"Hey, put that back you little shit!" Joline barked, "I worked hard for that money! The fuck do you think you're doing just takin' it?"

"You worked hard for it?" he repeated incredulously, "How hard can it be to lay on your back?"

Now Joline was speechless. She quickly got to her feet and crossed over to Alex in only a few long strides. She stood mere inches from him, glaring straight back into his eyes; they were practically the same height. Joline took in a deep breath and asked in a low, angry tone, "_What_ did you just say?"

"How hard…can it be…_to lay on your back_?" he repeated in the same tone, speaking very clearly for her.

Joline bristled with anger, her hand flexing to strike him, but she had learned better. He was too old and too big for her to hit anymore. Alex couldn't help but smirk at her flustered expression. She grabbed her purse out of his hands and left the house with a frustrated snarl.

Dana appeared suddenly at his side, making him flinch a bit; she was as quiet as a church mouse. He felt a little bad that she'd heard them; he didn't want her to be involved in the situation in anyway. It didn't matter how hard he tried to keep her out of it, their arguments often escalated to shouting matches. This one was probably the shortest and quietest argument in months. Still, Dana looked up at him with her innocent eyes and he hoped she didn't understand what he'd meant by what he said.

"You're all hot and bothered, huh?" she asked.

"'Hot and bothered'? Where'd you hear that?"

"I heard one of teachers at school say it when someone's mom got mad at them," Dana answered.

"Huh…"

"We should get some ice cream," she smiled.

"Why?"

"Cause you need to cool off right? Ice cream is cold, it should work."

He gave a short, dry laugh. Dana didn't know what it was for exactly, but smiled bigger hoping that maybe it meant they could go get ice cream. He sighed and decided they might as well; he didn't want to shoot down her childish logic.

As they walked to the ice cream parlor, Dana was practically skipping circles around him. Such a treat was a very, _very_, rare thing for them. The chilly air of the parlor greeted them as he pushed the door open, the breeze did feel nice. Dana made a bee line for the counter that held dozens of flavors and started listing off all the ones she wanted. He groaned inwardly, giving her all that ice cream would be a horrible idea. Not only would she make herself sick on it, it would also be far too expensive. Alex told her she could only pick three flavors at the most. Of course, she was disappointed, but she also understood. She told the girl behind the counter what she wanted, got her ice cream and swiftly took a seat at small table while Alex ordered his and paid for them.

As soon as he sat down, Dana began chattering away about somewhat random things. How school was going, her favorite subjects, what her and her friends did during recess…

He had to admit, he did feel better now. Not so much because the ice cream was cold and he needed to cool off, as Dana had put it. But more so because just listening to her talk and be happy was enough for him.

o0o0o0o0o0o

_**Author:**_** I'm such a bad person for taking so long to update ;_; and it's not even that great of a chapter…**


	21. Cry Little Sister

June 7th, 1997

It was the little things that made Dana happy, but now, she was so excited she could barely contain herself. Her friend Natasha and her family had just had a pool built into their backyard and invited Dana over to go swimming. And Alex too, of course. But he had no intention of getting in the water; he was only going to make sure Dana didn't drown. On their walk to Natasha's house, he told her he wanted her to stay in the shallow end and to use the arm floats. She agreed, but in a tone that said he worried too much. Alex thought he probably wasn't worrying enough; he never taught Dana how to swim, he didn't have reason to. Plus, he couldn't swim either.

Natasha's mother, Maria, greeted them at the door. Dana made a beeline through the house to the backyard while Alex chose to follow Maria through the house. They had a large, beautiful house with high vaulted ceilings and granite countertops. As expected, their backyard was beautiful too. Despite being dug up and torn apart for the pool, the grass had grown back quickly; lush and deep green. It was no wonder Dana loved coming over here, this house put their sorry excuse for a home to shame. Dirty, smelling of booze, linoleum counters, dying grass in the yard…

Alex found himself feeling rather jealous and a little pissed off.

In the yard, there was another girl who was putting the arm floats on Dana and Natasha before the two jumped in. She looked similar to Natasha; he assumed she was the girl's older sister and was probably only a year or two younger than him. After the girls jumped in the pool, she stood and politely introduced herself as Lacey. Whether she was sunburnt or blushing, Alex couldn't tell, but he also didn't care. He took a seat in a shaded lounge chair while Lacey sat at the pool's edge, near Alex, with her feet in the water. A minute or two passed before she decided she'd try to talk to Alex. He gave her only short responses, but Lacey seemed content just to get a reply out of him and carried on the conversation for the better part of an hour.

Natasha interrupted their conversation by asking Lacey if she would go let their dog outside, since Lacey wasn't soaking wet. The two younger girls thought it would fun the play with a dog in the pool, especially since their dog had already taken a liking to swimming. Lacey got up and disappeared off into the house to let the dog out. Alex took the chance to move to another lounge chair in the shade, which had retreated away from the chair he was currently sitting in. He heard Lacey yell something at the dog, but didn't think anything of it until Lacey yelled at him to get his attention. Alex looked to where she was yelling from the back door and saw their dog running full speed towards the pool, and he happened to be in its way.

The husky didn't slow down and ran into Alex as it leapt into the deep end of the pool, taking him with it. The water enveloped him quickly, shocking him into momentary paralysis with its cool temperature and burning his eyes. He struggled to coordinate his body to swim back to the surface. Alex grabbed at the tiled edge of the pool, but slipped and sunk back into the water, accidentally inhaling and swallowing the chlorinated water. He reached out for the edge again, barely getting his hand out of the water, and felt a sense of relief when someone grabbed his hand and pulled him up.

Alex scrambled over the edge onto his hands and knees, coughing up a few mouthfuls of water. He collapsed onto the lawn and rolled onto his back, dizzy and gasping for air. Maria stood over him worriedly; she might've been asking if he was alright, but he couldn't hear her. He looked to the right to see the other three girls watching him with wide eyes. Dana looked like she had just seen the grim reaper; her face was pale, paler than his he guessed. Her eyes were wide and terrified, with tears streaming down and lips trembling.

Whatever relief he felt at being back on solid ground was overwhelmed with undeserving guilt. He had scared her. He had to show her he was alright, that she didn't have to look so scared. Maria knelt down beside Alex as he shakily pushed himself up to a sitting position, muttering that he was fine. His voice sounded far from convincing, but it was all he could manage; he felt like he was going to throw up all the foul-tasting water he'd swallowed. He looked again to Dana, mustering up a stronger façade of being just fine. Dana broke into a full run at him, throwing her arms around him and tackling him back to the ground, sending him into another short coughing fit as she cried openly into his shoulder. As much as he loved her, Alex had to push her off so he could breathe. Lacey wrapped a towel around Dana and held another one out to Alex. Although the high sun had already done a halfway decent job of drying him off, he still accepted it and wrapped it around his shoulders. Dana scooted up closer to him again, trying to stop crying as he put an arm around her comfortingly.

"Do you want to go lay down for a bit…?" Maria offered.

"No, I think I'll just go home…" Alex rasped, then added more quietly, "...But thanks…"

"Are you sure?"

Alex nodded, dizzily getting to his feet and handing the towel back to her. Maria took it, though it was clear she still believed Alex should lay down and rest a bit before walking all the way home. She reluctantly led them back through the house to the front door without saying anything. There wasn't really anything she could say.

Their walk home was just as quiet, Alex was too focused on not throwing up to talk. Thankfully, Dana had stopped crying, though she still clung to his side tightly. No sooner than they had gotten that Alex began to rapidly lose the fight against his stomach. She shook Dana off of himself, leaving her confused and worried, and bolted for the bathroom. Alex dropped to his knees in front of the toilet just as his stomach violently rejected the chlorinated water.

He remained motionless for a moment, unsure if he was going to throw up again or not, before reaching up and pulling the little silver lever to flush the toilet. He sat back against the bathtub, breathing heavily, and stayed there for a few minutes until Dana came in.

"You're sick…?" she said softly, it was more of a statement than a question.

Alex nodded slowly and absently. There was no way he could cover this up, she'd probably heard him. Dana grabbed a glass off the bathroom counter and filled it with lukewarm warm. She remembered how Alex always made her rinse her mouth out after throwing up when she was sick, so this time, it was her turn to make him to the same. Dana held the glass out to him expectantly. Alex looked at her and sighed, brining himself to stand up weakly and take the glass from her. He drank it down and a second later spit it into the sink, glad to be rid of the taste of acid and chlorine. He trudged out of the bathroom to the living room and collapsed onto the couch; it was closer than the bed in his room.

Dana disappeared for a couple minutes and came back to the living room, in normal clothes, dragging the comforter blanket from his bed behind her. She attempted to throw the large blanket over him, but only succeeding in getting a small portion of it over his face. Alex smiled faintly as he pulled the blanket over himself properly; at least she was trying. She then lifted part of the blanket and crawled onto the couch to snuggle up beside him. He knew it was a bad idea to let her get away with it, since it was becoming a habit again, but he decided not to object this time. It wasn't long before Alex was fast asleep.

Although several hours passed, it didn't feel that long before he was woken up by someone yelling. With his senses coming back into the focus, he realized Dana wasn't curled up to him anymore. She was standing in front of the couch between him and Joline, who was, of course, the one yelling. Alex quickly propped himself up on one elbow, the feeling of dizziness returning, and grabbed Dana's shoulder. She flinched at the unexpected contact and looked at him curiously.

"Go…go to your room," he told her, resisting the urge to either yawn or vomit.

"But she's—!"

"Dana," he warned, his voice taking on that parental tone she couldn't disobey.

Dana scowled at him, more intensely at Joline, and went to her room. Alex waited until he heard her door close to glare sleepily at Joline.

"What the hell are you yelling for?" he grumbled.

"To wake your lazy ass up," Joline snapped, "You're slackin' off on your fucking chores."

"At least I do chores," he spat.

She was confident he couldn't do anything about it in current state and she was too drunk to consider any later consequences. In the blink of an eye, Joline's fist connected with the side of his face. The sudden motion of his head snapping to the right was enough to make him dizzy and nauseous again. He covered his mouth with his hand to prevent the bile rising in his throat from coming out.

"Not so tough now are ya, you little shit," Joline grinned.

"You…fucking _bitch_," Alex seethed weakly.

Joline hit him across the face twice more, ignoring his profanities, then decided she'd had enough for now and stormed off to her room. Alex laid still on the couch, faced again with the decision of throwing up or staying where he was. His stomach made the choice for him. Alex slowly got up, not wanting to be dizzy again, and staggered to the bathroom. After a minute of wretching, there was nothing left in his stomach, he gave up and went to the kitchen. He opened the freezer and retrieved a bag of frozen peas out of it and pressed it against his already bruising face.

Alex winced at the initial contact, but gradually welcomed it. He sauntered back to living and sank down onto the couch, where he spent the rest of the night.

o0o0o0o

_**Author: **_**so the title of the chapter came from the song, "Cry Little Sister" by Gerard McMann, which I was listening to the entire time I was writing this chapter. if you haven't heard that song...then you've been living under a rock.**


	22. Broken

Alex woke up with his jaw sore and stiff. The frozen bag of peas had helped at first, but now it was completely thawed; nothing more than a wet bag on his face. He picked the bag up, wiping the water from his face, went to the kitchen and dropped the bag in the garbage. Since it had been out of the freezer for so long, it probably wasn't good anymore; assuming it hadn't already gone bad.

He gently rubbed the side of his face, feeling how big the bruises were. _What the fuck is wrong with her?_ That was something he'd asked himself hundreds of times, but still had no answer. He opened the refrigerator and stared at a shelf that held various bottles of alcohol. He was tempted again, just as when he was a child, to take it and smash it. Unlike when he was child, he wasn't afraid of how she would react. She was only brave enough to hit him while he was sick and couldn't defend himself. Unfortunately for Joline, Alex was feeling better.

Alex gave in and grabbed the bottle closest to him. He threw open the back door of the house and hurled the bottle against one of the bare wooden beams supporting the overhang. There were very few things that gave Alex any kind of satisfaction; seeing bottle break and its contents splash against the wood was one of those things. He watched the beer drizzle down the beam, feeling a twisted grin tugging at his lips. He turned back into the house, propping the back door open with the garbage can, and pulled the refrigerator door open again. He grabbed two six packs out to the back and smashed them against the ground, unsure if they all break against the wooden beam. The pack of bottles shattered with metallic clinking, throwing shards of glass across the ground and the beer seeping into the ground. The pack of cans buckled under the force and sprayed their contents around like a crazed sprinklers.

He disappeared into the house again and searched the kitchen top to bottom for any more booze. He found several wine bottles poorly hidden in the cabinets and brought them outside as well.

Dana, who had woken up after hearing the first bottle break, watched from the corner of the hallway as her brother continued on his rampage. She knew their mother was an alcoholic, but she never realized how much booze had been stored away in their house until now. Dana caught glimpses of the smile that had worked its way onto Alex's face. She'd seen him smile when he was happy, his lips barely curved up. This wide grin…she didn't like it. Alex wasn't happy; he'd temporarily lost his mind.

After Alex had finally finished, he stood just outside the back door, swaying a little. He let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding and dropped to his knees. Dana watched him for a moment before taking a step towards him, but was halted by a knock at the door. She glanced between the door and Alex, who didn't seem to have heard it. She went to the door and opened it to see Natasha and Lacey. Natasha greeted her excitedly before Lacey pulled her back, lightly telling her to calm down.

"We were just going to the mall and um…decided to see if Alex was okay…" Lacey managed to say, with her cheeks turning a faint pink.

"She likes him," Natasha giggled.

Lacey kneed her sister in her side and gave her a dirty look. It might've been amusing to Dana were it not for what she'd just seen. She glanced over her shoulder, towards the back door which was still wide open. They couldn't see Alex from where they stood, which was probably a good thing.

"Yeah, he's all better," Dana replied.

"You sure? He didn't look very good yesterday."

Lacey tilted to one side to get a view of where Dana had looked. Dana panicked briefly and tried to think of something to distract her. But there was nothing she could do as Alex sauntered into the living room. Both Lacey and Natasha tried not to stare questioningly at the bruise on his face or the small, recently acquired nicks on his hands.

"I'm fine," he muttered, leaning against the door frame.

Lacey seemed to be at loss for words, trying to think of a reason for his injuries.

"Dana, why don't you go with them to the mall?" he suggested and then added quietly, "I don't want you here when Joline wakes up."

Lacey and Natasha hadn't really been planning to go to the mall, it was just an excuse to stop by. But now, judging by the tone of Alex's voice, they didn't have a choice. Alex was charging Lacey with keeping Dana away from the house for a while until whatever he was expecting was over. It wasn't the way Lacey had been hoping for things to go, but she accepted it nonetheless. Natasha grabbed Dana's hand and led her out of the house. Lacey hesitated a moment before mumbling a sheepish good-bye and following the two girls.

He watched them go until he heard footsteps drawing near.

"Why're you leaving all the doors open? All those damn bugs are gonna get in," Joline growled sleepily.

Alex gritted he teeth, but didn't turn around; he knew she was going to close the back door. A heavy, tense silence fell between as Joline stared at the backyard in shock. She took in the sight of the sparkling glass and metal, the glint and stench of alcohol splashed across the dry and dying yard. Joline slowly turned to face Alex, who was still leaning against the door frame.

"What…have you done…?" she breathed quietly.

Alex glanced over his shoulder lazily. There was nothing but horror written all over her face and that was another thing that he took satisfaction in.

"What's it look like?" he replied with a half grin.

Joline ran over to the refrigerator and opened it. She bristled and, without bothering to close it, moved to the cabinets. She scoured through them, finding them to have been thoroughly raided. Joline crossed the living room over to Alex and grabbed him by the shoulder, spinning him around. Damning whatever consequence may follow, Joline hit him square in the face.

Lacey had kept the two younger girls entertained until sundown. She figured it should be fine for her to take Dana home, plus it would give her an excuse to try to talk to Alex. The three of them walked down the sidewalk to Dana's house and noticed a handful of neighbors outside chattering about something. One of them turned and recognized Dana.

"Hey, you're one lucky girl!" she shouted.

The three girls looked them curiously.

"She ain't lucky," a man, presumably her boyfriend, snapped, "She missed all the action."

"She _is_ lucky 'cause that was her brother and mom, dumbass!"

"Um, what're you guys talking about…?" Lacey asked cautiously.

The woman set her beer down and motion for her to come closer, just her. Lacey bit her lip and walked up to the where the woman stood on her porch.

"You know anything about what goes on in that house?" the woman asked, nodding towards Dana's house.

Lacey shook her head slowly.

"Well, there's always all kinds of fightin' going on there. Screaming, yelling, all that stuff. Joline, that girl's mom, used to beat her brother," the woman told her.

Lacey covered her mouth in horror, connecting the dots between Alex's bruises and him wanting Dana out.

"Anyways, Joline ain't been hittin' Alex for a while. Getting' too big to push around, you know?" the woman continued, "The other day, he comes home with Dana looking all sick and pale…well, paler than normal. I don't know how that boy hasn't gotten a tan out here. A few hours later, Joline comes home a little drunk and hits him while he's down. He must've been pretty pissed at her 'cause this mornin' he was out smashing a shit load of her booze. Joline woke up and found out about it and of course she got all pissed, you know?"

Lacey nodded in understanding, listening intently to the woman.

"She punches him right in the face," she mimed punching an invisible person, "Knocks him flat on his ass. Joline starts screamin' at the top of her lungs and he starts screamin' back at her and they're all up in each other's faces. Now, I told ya they fight a lot, but this was way worse than normal. It was like they were trying to see who could yell the loudest and most creative insults loaded with the most cursing. It wasn't long before things got physical, Joline was swingin' at him again, but he kept stopping her and shoving her back in the house. Then we heard shit getting broken inside the house and some other neighbor guy called the cops. When they got here and dragged 'em out of the house, it was like dragging out two vicious dogs. They were trying to get away from the cops and tear each other's throats out. Took two cops to hold Joline and three to hold Alex, I never seen anything so bad."

Lacey felt like she was going to be sick, she couldn't have imagined such a life for Alex. She knew, from what Dana had mentioned, that their life wasn't pleasant. But she never thought it was that bad.

"And whole damn thing was on camera," the woman's boyfriend added.

"What?" Lacey choked.

"Yeah, you know that show Cops?"

She nodded.

"Well, a couple of camera men from that show were ridin' along with some of the officers that showed up."

"Oh my god…is he…are they…still here?" Lacey asked.

"The camera guys? Hell no, they left with the cops hours ago."

"Alex and Joline, moron," the woman deadpanned, "Joline ain't home, but I think I saw Alex come back a short while ago."

Lacey nodded for the girls to come over to her and walked the remaining distance to Dana's home. She hoped that they didn't hear the story. Dana would probably find out one way or another, but she wanted her sister to stay in the dark on this subject. She would have to make sure Natasha didn't watch that show, or her parents for that matter. She wondered briefly if the fight had been bad enough to even make the news, but she quickly shook that thought from her mind.

Lacey knocked on the door gingerly, but with just enough force to make it creak open. Lacey poked her head inside and was greeted by the aftermath of their fight. Broken dishes strewn around, chairs laying broken on the floor, the kitchen table on its side, a few unhinged cabinets, cracked door frames, a broken window in the living room….

And a lifeless Alex laying with his back to them on the couch, which appeared to be the only piece of intact furniture that Lacey could see.

"U-ummm….we're back…" Lacey called weakly.

Alex didn't respond.

Lacey, followed by the two girls, stepped into the house. Natasha waited by the door while Lacey moved carefully to avoid any sharp fragments on the approach Alex. Dana was more reckless and sprinted past her to her brother. Dana paused and debated if she should touch him or not, thinking of him as a fragile china doll at the moment. Lacey stopped beside her and observed the sleeping teenager. He would almost look at peace if it weren't for his clothes which were torn and stained with blood and dirt. And the dark bruises and deep cuts that had been tended as best they could be littered his skin. And a black cast was wrapped tightly around his left arm and wrist.

Lacey felt tears burning in her eyes and tried to fight them back, whispering, "Do you want to come home with us?"

As an answer, Dana reached out and shook Alex's shoulder. Alex shrugged the small hand off of him with an irritated growl. Lacey decided this wasn't a moment for her to present in. She took Natasha and left Dana to her brother.

"Alex," Dana choked, "W-wake up."

Hearing her voice, Alex looked at her from the corner of his eyes. Dana could see his icy blue eyes were still full of rage, but to a much lesser extent now. His gaze softened a bit as he used what little strength his had left to force himself to roll over. She saw red stains blossom onto the bandages of several covered wounds as he moved. He then pushed himself up to a sitting position and took her into a hug. Rather than locking her arms around him tightly, she gently wrapped them around his broken body.

"Everything's alright," he rasped.

His voice was clearly raw from the intense screaming. For the second time in twenty four hours, she cried openly and loudly into his shoulder.

o0o0o0o

_**Author:**_** so Alex and Joline's fight was just way too intense to put into words so anonymous white trash neighbor lady's retelling is all you guys get…use your imaginations :S**


	23. End of an Era

December 31st, 1999

If anything good had come of their fight, it was Joline being arrested for domestic assault on a minor. She spent an entire month in jail for it and then received a restraining order; she was not to come within five feet of Alex, or Dana for that matter. Not only did Joline obey that order, she took things a step further and was gone from the house far longer than she was ever in it.

Another good thing was that Lacey had offered to come over and cook or clean or anything else that needed to be taken care of. At first, he was wary of her offer; kindness wasn't something he was accustomed to. Eventually he accepted it, after made it very clear to her that she was not tell anyone about anything that had happened or might happen. Lacey didn't tell anyone, not wanting anger Alex, but it was she did inadvertently that angered him. Alex had caught her looking at him several times, which wasn't unusual in itself, but too many times he'd caught her looking at him with pity and sympathy.

He became sick of those looks and started pushing her away until she eventually stopped coming over. While Dana had been upset he'd done so, she didn't let it bother her too much; Lacey had started coming more than she would've liked. She still saw Lacey often enough whenever she went over to their house to play with Natasha. And in a way, Dana was a little glad her life was back to being just her and Alex.

As Alex and Dana sat back on their front porch, watching the rest of the neighborhood light off their fireworks too early, Dana thought of the rumors about this particular New Year's. She was afraid that the predictions of Y2K would be true, though she tried to hide that by saying they needed to have a special New Year's celebration. He gave in and bought a few fireworks for her to light off at midnight.

"What do you think is gonna happen?" Dana asked suddenly.

"Absolutely nothing," Alex replied simply, "People will wake up tomorrow and realize they're all freaked out for nothing."

"You don't think computers will go crazy?"

"Nope."

"Or that the apocalypse is gonna happen?"

"Nope."

Alex gently exhaled cigarette smoke in yet another attempt to make a smoke ring. Dana wasn't bothered by his habit so long as he smoked outside where it wasn't as easy to smell. But just because she wasn't bothered by it didn't mean she approved of it either. She leaned over and glanced at the time on Alex's watch; five more minutes until midnight. Until a new year. Until a new _century_. Again, the thought of Y2K plagued her mind and she wondered how Alex could ignore it so easily.

"So everything is gonna be okay?" she asked.

"Of course," he sighed, "The computers will be fine. The world will still be here. You'll still be here. I'll still—"

"Be an old man?" Dana teased.

Alex grimaced and set his jaw tightly. Ever since his birthday, Dana had been teasing him by calling him an old man. The gap between nineteen and twenty had never seemed so big until she'd started doing that.

"I'm not old…" Alex said tensely.

"Yes, you are," she replied in a sing-song tone.

"…Go light your damn fireworks," he grumbled, tossing her his lighter.

Dana caught it and picked up a mortar and one of the six shells that had been sitting on the ground between them. Alex had already told her how to use it and that it was important that she run back to the house as soon as the fuse was lit. She skipped out to the end of the property, set the mortar on the ground, fed the shell into it and attempted to light the long fuse. She flicked the lighter several times, but got nothing more than a couple tiny sparks; no flame. She'd seen Alex do it all the time and did the same thing he did. Dana frowned and turned to Alex.

He sighed, getting up and walking over to her. She returned the lighter to him and stepped. In a single flick, the lighter produced a flame. He leaned down, holding the lighter to the fuse for a second until it sputtered and sparked. Alex stood up quickly and rushed Dana back to the front porch. They watched as the fuse disappeared inside the mortar, then the shell shot out of the mortar and exploded high in sky into a display of blazing silvery fireballs.

"Wanna try it again?" he offered.

"Yeah," Dana answered excitedly.

She grabbed another shell and took the lighter from him once again. She had better luck with this one and the rest of them. Alex let her light all the shells, not so much because he didn't want, but because he was too tired. He volunteered for the morning shift at work so he could be home early that night. And that shift started at four in the morning. When Dana was done with the fireworks, and the neighborhood had lit off the last of their biggest fireworks, Alex told Dana to go to bed. When she started to object, Alex told her she didn't have to go to sleep. She just had to go to bed; she could stay up and watch the rest of the fireworks from her window for all he cared.

He stamped out his cigarette and followed her inside. Dana went to her room and hopped up on her bed to get a better view of the celebratory explosions. Alex went to his room and dropped like a dead man onto the bed. As he lay there, waiting for sleep to come, he gave some thought to Y2K. If the apocalypse was to occur before the dawn, at least it meant Joline would perish along with everyone else. However, that included Dana as well. Alex pushed the thought far from his mind and thought about the theory of computers going crazy and screwing everyone on their finances. He didn't have anything to with the electronic keeping money, but he hoped Joline did. He would love it if whatever scant amount of money she had was lost because of some computer error.

Alex heard Joline's cell phone begin to ring in the next room. Then he heard Dana leaving her room to go answer it.

"Leave it!" he barked.

Just because Joline had forgotten her cell phone didn't mean they answer it if someone called. It only took once for Alex to learn not to do so, having answered the phone to a gentleman caller awhile back. If those were the only people calling Joline, he especially didn't want Dana to answer it. Dana went back to her room and the two of them let the phone ring until it finally went to voice mail or the caller hung up.

The next morning, Alex was awake long before Dana. He wanted to let her sleep in, but when eleven o'clock came around, he decided she'd slept long enough. Alex walked into her room and nudged her shoulder. Dana whined, turning her back to him.

"Dana, wake up," he said, prodding at her back.

"No…" she groaned.

"Don't make me pick you up."

"You're too old to pick me up."

He saw Dana smile a little; she loved it when he picked her up and carried her around. She pulled the covers over her head as if to dare him. Alex sighed and threw her covers back. Dana fought back another smile as she felt his arms wrap around her. He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder, like she was a sack of potatoes. He carried her out to the living room, stopping in front of the couch.

"You better wake up before I drop you," he warned.

Dana giggled and squirmed, but tried to feign sleeping. Alex shook his head and leaned forward; Dana tried to get a grip on him but failed and was tossed onto the couch. She tried to pout at him like she was angry he'd followed through with his warning, of course she wasn't and he knew that. Alex ruffled her hair and went to the kitchen to get her breakfast. He leaned against the counter as he waited for the stove to heat up.

"Mom's phone is ringing again," Dana said suddenly.

Alex listened closer; Joline's phone was ringing again. It might be a little important since the call was now coming before sunset. Alex groaned, pushing himself off the counter, and going to answer the phone. He hesitated a second before picking up the small phone, but decided to answer it anyway.

"Hello?" he answered dryly.

"It's about fucking time!"

Alex winced at the static shrillness of Joline's voice.

"Why the fuck didn't you answer the damn phone last night?"

"It's your phone, it's not my job to answer it," he growled.

He heard her muffled cursing as someone took the phone away from her. _Where is she…?_ he wondered.

"Hello, this is the Las Vegas police department. Is this Ms. Mercer's son?"

"Yeah," Alex replied, grinning.

"Your mother is currently being held on bail and is requesting that you bail her out," the officer said.

"Why's she in jail?" Alex asked, trying to hide the twisted joy in his voice.

"She was arrested for public intoxication, indecent exposure, refusal to cooperate, assaulting an officer and damaging a squad car…" the officer replied, "Her bail is currently set at three thousand dollars."

Alex had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing. Even if he did have that kind of money just lying around, he certainly wasn't going to use to bail her out. He told the officer that he wasn't going bail Joline out and hung up. _Looks like this is gonna be a pretty good year. _Dana heard her brother laughing, which was strange in itself, and came in the room to see what was going on.

"What're you laughing for?" she asked, tilting her head.

"Nothing," he grinned, "Don't worry about it."


	24. Falling Skies

September 10th, 2001

Dana had been excited about starting junior high until she actually started it. She complained almost nonstop to Alex about how she hated having to move from class to class every hour, her friends not being in every class, not having any recess, and having more homework that was far more difficult. Those were all the things Alex had like about junior high and high school, but then again, Dana was far more social than he ever was.

She asked for his help on her homework and of course he helped. But as soon as Dana tried to get Alex to do it for her, he left her to figure it out on her own. He laid stretched out on the couch, taking a nap, not only was he still working long shifts at work, but he was also attending community college and the work load there was enough to drain any energy he had left after work. While Dana sat at the kitchen table, getting frustrated with her homework; she would've just made up answers and called it a night if it weren't for Alex saying he was going to check her homework when she was done. Dana glared childishly at her math homework, as if doing so would make it go away. After a few minutes of failing to figure out how to do it, Dana shoved the book back and got up from the table.

She walked around the couch and stopped in front of Alex. She crossed her arms and pouted at him, expecting him to wake up. A few seconds ticked by, then Dana realized he was actually asleep and she was going to have to wake him up. She sighed, dropping her arms, and decided to flop on top of him haphazardly. She startled him awake and temporarily knocked the wind out him. Alex grunted and tried to push her off, but she went completely limp until he stopped.

"What're you doing?" he asked.

"Nothing," Dana replied sweetly.

"Then get off."

"Not unless you help me."

"Help you or do it for you?"

"…help?"

Alex sighed and gave her another push, this time succeeding in getting her off. Dana sat back, watching him as he sat up.

"Well, go get your homework," he said with a faint half grin and giving her a light push towards the kitchen.

Dana retrieved her math homework from the kitchen table and brought it back to the living room, dropping the book in Alex's lap. He scowled at her, picked up the book and dropped it on her lap. She pouted at him again, but one warning look from Alex was enough to fix that. Dana opened the book to the page her homework was on. The homework was a little more difficult than it had been when he was her age, but it was still far too easy for him. He could probably do it in his sleep. Still, he'd have to walk Dana through it just like he'd done for the handful of his classmates brave enough to ask him for help. Alex told her how to do the problems and explained why she had to do certain things, but made sure she was doing all the thinking so she would remember how to do it on her own.

After taking longer than he'd thought, Dana finally got her homework done and he checked over it. She made a few mistakes, but nothing she couldn't fix in a minute or two. Once she was done, she then asked Alex if they go see a movie, giving him her best pleading face. Alex looked away from her, they knew that face could get her anything she wanted, and told her no because it was a school night. She skipped around to the front of him and tried again, but he did the same thing. Dana tried a few more times until Alex warned her if she asked again, she would have to clean the kitchen. It wasn't particularly dirty, but Dana hated chores in general.

She frowned at him and dropped on the couch. Alex tossed her the remote, telling her she could watch a movie on TV if she could find one and it didn't keep her up past her bedtime. Dana playfully stuck her tongue out at him; they only had basic cable and if she could find a channel with an interesting movie, it was more than likely to run past her bedtime. Still, she flipped through the channels, determined to find something interesting while Alex got up to make their dinner. It wasn't anything fancy, not that it ever was, but it wasn't horrible either.

Dana didn't find a movie, so the two of them were left to watch reruns of an older sitcom while they ate. After they were done with their late dinner, Dana quickly grew bored of the show and went off to bed. Alex stayed up a little longer to take care of the dishes, but once they were done, he went to his room and almost immediately fell asleep the second he hit the mattress. With Joline still gone to wherever she'd went, he slept soundly through the night until his alarm rudely woke him up at four forty five in the morning.

He shut it off bitterly and got up, took a quick shower, then went to wake up Dana. As he walked to her room, he could hear the TV still going. _Shit, forgot to turn it off last night… _He considered turning it off, but Dana would just turn back on in a minute to watch while she waited for breakfast. Alex twisted the doorknob of Dana's door and pushed it open, but froze in place as soon as he heard something on the TV.

"—_terrorist attack on the New York Twin Towers' North Tower_—"

Alex ran back to the living room, snatching up the remote and turning the volume up.

"_At eight forty six, local time, American Airlines Flight 11 was hijacked and piloted directly into the North Tower of the Twin— wait, I've just been told a second plane has crashed into the South Tower, United Airlines Flight 175 and_—"

The reporter's words barely registered in Alex's mind as the screen displayed the black smoke billowing out of the North Tower, then showed another plane barreling into the South Tower. He watched as more fire, smoke and literal tons of debris rained down from the South Tower. Alex felt his heart skip a beat as the second shifted violently.

"Alex, what's happening?" Dana asked in a fearful voice.

"Go…go back to your room and get dressed," he replied quietly, gently pushing her back in that direction.

He hadn't taken his eyes off the TV. The South Tower lurched again, the groaning of the stressed metal and glass rumbled deafeningly over the screams of fleeing citizens as it began to lean towards the North Tower. The tower continued to lean until it could no longer hold itself and slammed against the North Tower, sending more tons of debris down at citizens. The cameraman yelled something over the screams of other people and zoomed in on the towers, showing the nation a bone chilling sight; people leaping from even the highest floors of the towers in an attempt to escape.

Alex felt his whole body go numb as he watched the unfolding scene in horror. The North Tower roared in protest, shuddered and buckled under the weight of its twin; people still jumping from the towers, believing it to be safer than remaining inside the blazing steel and glass. The towers wretched apart and sent massive clouds of debris and scaling ash as they began their titanic cascade. Alex watched people ran as fast as they could past the cameraman in a vain attempt to outrun the dark cloud that was rapidly swallowing the streets. The cameraman remained only a second longer before his common sense kicked in and sent him running for his life as well.

"—_and another flight has-has been hijacked…! American Airlines Flight 77 has been hijacked and flown into the Pentagon_—_!_"

The screen split in half the show the low lying white building alongside New York City. A blinding blaze of fire erupted as the plane slashed into its side. As destructive as the crash was, the Pentagon held its remaining four sides, leaving only one burning. The screen returned its full view back to the Twin Towers, stilling falling and crushing everything beneath them. The view switched to an aerial shot from a helicopter, giving Alex a view of the towers falling into the dark cloud of their own burning debris and ash.

"Alex…?!"

Dana was at his side again, panicking and clinging to him as she watched the horrific sight alongside him.

"_A-another plane, United Airlines Flight 93 has also been hijacked! But…but it doesn't appear to aimed for anything…T-the passengers on board have revolted against the hijackers and are trying to regain control of—_"

The two of them watched the plane rock back and forth in an almost elegant manner before practically nose-diving into the ground, avoiding anything major. Again, their TV split its screen into four views; an aerial of the towers, which were now becoming still on the ground, a distant ground level view of the dense ash that continued to linger, the burning side of the pentagon, and the motionless, burning plane that deeply scarred the ground of Pennsylvania.

"Why don't you go call Natasha and ask her mom to take you to school today…?" Alex murmured.

Dana nodded and went to grab Joline's phone, which had been forgotten by her yet again. Alex sat down on the couch, finding himself thinking about his childhood because the city the last plane crashed in was the city his foster family had lived in when he was in their care. One of the reporters said the number of casualties was unconfirmed, but was estimated in the thousands. Although he never really cared about his former foster family, he still hoped they were alright. He continued thinking about his childhood, how many he times had he seen the towers standing proudly over New York?

Alex vaguely remembered someone telling him what those two towers specifically were, but he didn't remember who told him. It certainly wasn't Joline. Maybe it had been one of his elementary teachers…

_'See those skyscrapers there? Those are the Twin Towers, you can see all of New York from up there.'_

The TV displayed a ground level view of the now wide open skies where the Twin Towers once stood. He knew someone had been outside with him, pointing out that now empty space, but it had been at night, so it wasn't one of his teachers.

_'Yeah, you really can. I go up there a lot because my father works in that tower on the right, the North Tower.'_

Then his heart stopped.

_'Maybe one of these days I'll take you up there with me and you can see the city too.'_

Alex was suddenly assaulted with a barrage of memories of a girl with long silky hair, almost always tied back, pale smooth skin, and dressed in a black and white uniform with an apron. She helped numerous times throughout a grocery; she was a cashier there. He remembered she would sometimes walk him home on her lunch breaks or when she was getting off work at the same time he was there.

There were a handful of times he'd spent time with her when she wasn't working, though those were few and far between. The last time he'd seen her was after he was sure he and Dana would be saved by her reporting Joline to CPS.

"….Casey…." he whispered.

"Who's Casey?" Dana asked, intentionally distracting herself from the TV.

"She um….was someone I knew…when we lived in New York…." Alex was trying to keep his voice calm and even.

"We lived in New York?"

"Yeah…but we moved here when you were really little…"

He hadn't thought about Casey in nearly a decade. The memory of her had been long since buried alongside any chance at pleasant childhood. Now that memory was possibly beneath tons upon tons a still heated steel, glass, and ash.

o0o0o0o

_**Author:**_** should've been a little expected as soon as you read the date at the top, but oh god, Casey…haven't thought about her in a while ;_;**

**I was nine when this happened and I don't remember it very well because my mom did pretty much the same thing Alex did, kept telling to go do something else so I wouldn't see the news.**


	25. Incommodious

April 15th, 2003

"Come on, Dana," Lizzi said, "We're going tonight, no matter what."

Both Natasha and Lizzi, one of Dana's newer friends, looked at her expectantly. Lizzi was more impatient with Dana asking Alex because she didn't know Alex very well, if at all. She gave Dana a push towards the door and earned a light slap on the shoulder from Natasha.

"Okay, fine," Dana sighed, "I'll go ask him."

"Good luck," Natasha grinned.

Dana rolled her eyes and opened the back door. Alex was sitting in a lawn chair with his eyes closed, hands behind his head and feet propped up on the patio railing, taking a break from studying for a science exam. Dana moved closer and glanced at the book that sat open on his lap, probably no longer open to the right page thanks to the wind.

"What?" Alex mumbled, without moving a muscle.

Dana flinched and took a half step back, she could never tell when he was sleeping or just had his eyes closed. She had hoped he was sleeping so she could have a minute longer to figure out how to phrase her question, but that wasn't the case.

"Umm…"

Alex peered at her with one eye half open.

"Would you, uh, go…to the, um…mall with me, Natasha, and Lizzi?" Dana managed.

"…Why?" he asked cautiously.

"Well, we want to, umm…go dress shopping…for prom…?"

Alex stared at her with a blank expression, trying to process what she was asking. Dana fidgeted in place as she waited for Alex to answer her.

"Why…?" he repeated.

"Because Natasha's mom and Lizzi's mom are going too," Dana replied, "To pay for their dresses and stuff…."

"So you just want me to buy you a dress…that you're only going to wear once?"

"There are places that can rent dresses or whatever for cheaper," she offered weakly, "And I won't ask for any brand new ones."

Alex set his jaw and looked out at the sky, leaving Dana to continue waiting anxiously for an answer. After a minute or two passed, Dana couldn't take it anymore. She picked up his textbook, closing it, and dropped it on the ground before climbing onto his lap.

"What the hell are you— Why do you keep doing this?" he growled.

Dana didn't reply, instead she gave him yet another puppy-dog face. Alex narrowed his eyes at her, mentally willing for her to get off before she bent his knees the wrong way. But Dana remained exactly where she was. His glares never worked on Dana; something he wished would change, at least in situations like these.

"Get off."

"Please?" she whined.

"Will you get off?"

Dana nodded.

"Fine then," he sighed.

Dana giggled excitedly and wrapped her arms around him in a tight, quick hug. She hopped off of him and skipped back inside to her friends. They had been watching from the kitchen window and guessed from her happy reaction that Alex had approved. Lizzi called her mom from her cell phone, which she was lucky enough to have, to let her know that Dana would be going with them.

"Did you tell him we're going tonight?" Natasha asked.

"…oops."

"Dana," Natasha scolded, "You have to tell him."

"I know, I know…"

Dana waved her off, promising she'd let Alex know later. She waited until shortly after the two girls left, since they weren't planning on going to the mall until after dinner. While Alex was making their dinner, Dana was thinking of a way to tell him they were going shopping tonight; she knew he hated her short-notice plans.

"Did you get all your studying done?" she asked as he set her plate in front of her.

"I guess…"

"Wanna go do something tonight?"

Alex looked at her suspiciously.

"Like…take me shopping?" she smiled.

"Dana—" Alex growled.

"We were gonna go tonight anyways and I meant to ask you sooner," Dana said quickly, "But I didn't know what you would say."

Alex glared at her, annoyance all over his face, but said nothing. Alex ate his dinner in silence and ignored the numerous glances Dana kept giving him. When they were done, Alex stalked off to his room without a word. Dana plopped down on the couch and decided to watch TV while she waited. After a half hour or so, she saw a car pulling up to her house; she knew it was Natasha and her mother coming to pick her up. But Alex didn't know that. He walked into the living room and the expression on his face was enough to tell her to explain.

"It's Natasha and her mom. They're picking us up…?" Dana trailed off, hoping he hadn't changed his mind.

"…Fine," he grumbled.

At least they wouldn't have to walk all the way to the mall and back. A car was something Alex still couldn't afford and because of that, he hadn't even bothered with trying to get a license.

Alex followed Dana outside, locking the door behind them. Dana immediately hopped in the back seat and Alex assumed he was supposed to sit in the front seat. As soon as he opened the door, he paused and looked back at Dana in confusion. She just shrugged innocently.

"Our mom got called into work," Lacey said simply, from the driver's seat.

_And I was worried this was going to be uncomfortable…_ Alex thought with a sigh.

While the two girls chattered away in the back, there was only silence between Alex and Lacey. He didn't make eye contact with her or even look in her direction for a second. When they got to the mall, Alex tried to keep Dana and Natasha in between himself and Lacey. Although, that didn't work too well because they went running to Lizzi and her mother as soon as they saw them. Alex cursed inwardly and followed the group of girls into the mall, attempting to keep a little distance from them. He would've just given Dana money and told her to go without him, but he had no idea how much a dress would cost.

The girls darted into the first dress shop. Lizzi's mom followed them in with a smile, but Lacey hesitated when she saw Alex take a seat on the bench outside the store.

"You're not going in?" she asked.

"Nope," he answered shortly.

Lacey rolled her eyes with a faint grin, leaving Alex to sit slouched with his arms crossed outside the store. He watched them through the glass when he could see them; the store was packed with rows of dresses that they could easily hide behind. They must not have found anything because they came back out about ten minutes later and dragged him along to the next store. Again, Alex chose to sit outside and wait. They did this several times, sometimes spending longer in a store if something caught their interest or they wanted to try something on. After going through nearly half the stores in the mall, Lacey decided to take a break and sit outside with Alex.

"You know, I'm kind of surprised you came along," Lacey said.

"How else is she going to pay for a dress?" Alex shrugged.

"True…" she sighed.

Silence settled over them again.

"You're not going to get all big-brother-protective on her, are you?" Lacey asked.

"It's just a dance."

"Huh…didn't think you'd be so calm about her going with someone."

"What…?!" Alex sat up straight.

"Oooh, she didn't tell you…." Lacey murmured, shrinking into her seat.

Alex glared heatedly at Dana through the window of the store they were in. Lacey shifted uncomfortably, hoping she didn't just get Dana in trouble; though she was sure Alex would've found out one way or another. She glanced over at Alex, who was now sitting forward and resting his elbows on his knees. She could see his jaw clenching and unclenching as he waited patiently for the girls to come out of the store, almost like a predator. But Lacey knew he wouldn't hurt Dana.

The girls took a while longer in this store than the others, but when they came out, Lizzi was carrying a fluffed up looking plastic garment bag; obviously, she'd found a dress she liked. Natasha skipped up to Lacey, telling her she found she sort of liked but wanted to keep looking. Dana was going to do the same until Alex wrapped an arm around her and pulled her in close. Dana knew this wasn't a hug; he never did that for no reason.

"Am I in trouble…?" she whispered.

"Depends," he whispered back, "When were you gonna tell me you're going to the dance with a date?"

"Ummm…"

"When he showed up at the door?"

"No," Dana huffed, "I was gonna tell you when we got home."

"Mm-hmm," Alex hummed sarcastically, "We're gonna talk about this later."

He let go of her and scooted her forward as he stood up. Alex intended on following them into whatever store they went into next because now it really mattered what Dana planned on wearing.

He eyed the poufy, vibrantly colored dresses with disgust, wondering who in their right mind would wear them. Both Dana and Natasha quickly found dresses they wanted to try on and ran off to the fitting rooms to see if the dresses looked as good on them as on the hangers. Alex and Lacey waited outside the fitting rooms for the two girls; she couldn't help but laugh a little at him.

"So I _was_ right," she smiled, "You are gonna be the over protective older brother."

Alex grunted, keeping his attention on the door of the room Dana was in.

"It's okay, I wouldn't expect anything less from you."

He gave her an annoyed look.

"Still not much for conversation, I see…" she sighed.

Alex ignored her and went back to watching the door. _How long does it take to put on a dress?_ He leaned back in his seat, catching of glimpse of their reflection in a nearby mirror. He could see the downcast expression on Lacey's face and couldn't help but feel a little guilty. He told himself he should at least try to apologize, but no words came to mind. Instead, he continued to study the reflection until he heard the fitting room door click open. Dana poked her head out sheepishly, as if she was suddenly embarrassed by the dress.

She stepped out in a knee length burgundy dress, held up by moderately thick straps that met behind her neck. The torso of the dress was a little snug, but not too much. A simple bow separated the torso from the loose flowing skirt half.

"So….?"

"Aw, Dana, it's so pretty," Lacey said sweetly.

Dana smiled and turned to Alex expectantly.

"Uh, y-yeah. It looks good," he managed.

Dana's smile practically doubled as she turned and skipped back into the fitting room to put her normal clothes back on. Lacey gave Alex an amused look which he returned with a brief glare before looking away from her.

o0o0o0o

_**Author:**_** well, I thought I was gonna do this whole thing with Dana's prom in one chapter but…that's not gonna happen, gonna be another two-part chapter…  
and Casey will come up in the chapter after the next for those wondering**


	26. Promenade

April 22nd, 2003

"She's fourteen, what's the worst that'll happen?" Lacey said.

"You're kidding right?" Alex deadpanned.

The two of them were waiting in the living room of Lacey's house for Natasha and Dana to get ready, Maria was helping the girls with their hair and make-up. Alex had brought Dana over for that exact reason. Lacey had tried to make him relax by repeatedly telling him Dana would be fine, but it didn't seem to be working.

"Well, you trust her don't you?"

"Of course," Alex replied, "It's her date I don't trust."

"He has a name…"

"I know."

After they'd gotten home from dress shopping, Alex made Dana tell him all about this boy. His name was Christopher and had been in the same class as Dana for a couple years now. Dana even showed him of picture of Chris in one of her yearbooks; Alex didn't like him. Not just because he was the older brother, but because he thought Chris just seemed like an asshole. Both Lacey and Dana tried to convince him otherwise, telling him things like how he was on the honor roll, never got in trouble, and was never late to class.

"If you're so worried, maybe you should be a chaperone," Lacey joked.

She glanced at Alex, he looked like he was seriously considering it.

"I was joking," she said quickly, "Besides, only parents and teachers can be chaperones."

Lacey got up to go check on her sister and Dana. She came back a minute later, after being shooed away, and returned to her seat.

"They're almost done," Lacey told him.

"It's about time…" he mumbled.

"You're a boy, you don't understand how long it takes to get ready."

Alex rolled his eyes and continued waiting for Dana to come into the living room. He would only get to see her for a few minutes before she left for the dance. She'd told him that Maria was going to take them to the school, where the dance was, and they would meet their dates there. The dance would go for a few hours, then Natasha's mother would pick the girls up and bring them back to the house.

"Alright, I think we're all set now," Maria smiled, walking into the living room.

The two girls followed her in a couple seconds later. All Alex could do was stare speechlessly at Dana. Maria knew what she was doing; she put Dana's hair up in a loose but neat bun, leaving a few locks down, and had put just the right amount of make-up on her face. Lacey smiled and hugged the two of them tightly, telling them how pretty they looked.

"You're gonna mess up everything Mom did!" Natasha objected, pushing her sister back.

"She'd better not, we don't have time to do it over again," Maria warned.

She hurried past them to go get the car started. Alex walked up to Dana, giving her a hug but trying to be careful not to mess up her hair or anything.

"Don't let anything happen that'll piss me off," Alex said quietly, then added in a softer tone, "…You do look beautiful, by the way."

"I won't," Dana laughed, "Thanks."

"Come on, girls! Or you're going to be late!" Maria called from outside.

"You call me if something happens," Alex told her as she left the house.

Alex had taken Joline's cell phone; she didn't need it while she was still in jail. As it turns out, the LVPD had come across a handful of warrants against her and charged her with them. Alex watched them leave from the window before deciding he might as well leave too.

"Got any plans tonight?" Lacey stopped him.

"Just…going home and working on an essay…" he answered.

"That's about all you do anymore, isn't it?" Lacey teased, "Dana told me you're always at work or have your head buried in books."

Alex shrugged, _I don't have much of a choice if I want out of this crap-life._

"Why don't we go do something fun?" Lacey suggested.

"I don't—"

"Just until the dance is over? It's not like you're going to get a whole lot of the essay done tonight anyway."

She was probably right; Alex wouldn't be able to focus on the essay. He'd be thinking about what might be going on at the dance, if Dana was having fun, or if Chris really was the asshole Alex suspected him of being. He would be lucky if he could write a single sentence. Alex sighed and agreed, asking her what she had in mind.

"We could hang out around the mall of something."

"Is it even open now?" he asked.

"Yeah, it stays open until eleven," Lacey said.

"…Alright, I guess…"

Lacey smiled and grabbed her own set of keys before leading him out to her car. On the ride there, Lacey tried to strike up a conversation with him. Old habits were hard to break, but she could tell Alex was making somewhat of an effort to be more talkative, which was enough to make her happy.

When they got to the mall, the first thing they did was go to the food court. Maria had been too busy getting the girls ready for the dance to make dinner for anyone. Lacey got in line to a fast food stand and gave Alex a questioning look when he didn't do the same. He told her he wasn't hungry, and while Lacey didn't believe him, it was actually true for once. Alex stood off to the side of the line and looked around while he waited for her. A nearby window display caught his attention, it was one he'd noticed last week when they'd gone dress shopping, but he didn't the chance to actually look at the display. He glanced over his shoulder to see how far Lacey was from the ordering counter and decided he had enough time to go over there.

In the window, two mannequins displayed a jacket; one turned to show the front of the jacket, the other turned to show its back. Alex didn't look at the first mannequin very long; all it really showed was that the jacket was made of black leather with two white stripes on each of the upper arms. He was more focused on the second mannequin, which showed the same thing, but also a design across the shoulders.

"That's a pretty cool jacket," Lacey said.

Alex flinched at her sudden appearance, making her giggle. He'd clearly misjudged just how quickly fast food was served.

"What're those red tribal looking things?" she asked.

"Dragons…I think," he replied.

"You should get it, it'd look good on you."

"Maybe if I ever win the lottery," Alex said with a half laugh, "It's made of real leather so it probably costs a fortune."

They turned and started walking away from the store, with no particular destination in mind. They didn't walk more than ten feet when Alex stopped, hearing the phone in his pocket ringing. He didn't bother checking the caller ID as he answered it.

"Hello?"

"Alex?" Dana whimpered.

"Dana? What's wrong?" he asked quickly.

Alex tried to think of anything that could've upset her, the first thing that came to mind was Dana's date, Chris.

"Umm…c-can you just come get me?" she asked, trying to hold back tears.

"I'll be right there," he told her.

Alex stuffed the phone back into his pocket and started to storm off.

"Hey, wait a second!" Lacey protested, "What's the matter?"

"I don't know, but I'm going to get Dana," Alex growled.

"Well then, wait for me! Unless you plan on just running there," Lacey said.

Lacey scowled at his quick pace, but Alex didn't slow down; if she didn't get to the car at the same time he did, he would just run to the school. Luckily, she was able to keep up with him. She knew Alex wanted to get to the school as fast as possible, but seeing that predatory look on his face again told her not to rush to the school. Lacey tried to talk to him to calm whatever thoughts were in his head, but he remained dead silent with his eyes fixed directly in front of them. He was trying to decide what to do when they got there; find and comfort Dana or find Chris and break his face.

Alex didn't even wait for Lacey to stop the car, as soon as she pulled into the school parking lot, he threw the door open and took off running. Lacey cursed under her breath and parked next to the curb before chasing after him. Alex quickly found his way to the gym where the dance was, but the problem would be actually trying to find someone. Most of the lights had been turned down and the music up. He gritted his teeth and began making his way through crowds of teenagers. A few of them gave him dirty looks when he pushed them aside, but they quickly changed to apologetic the second they realized he wasn't one of their classmates. He found Lizzi first and grabbed her by the shoulder to get her attention. Not knowing who it was at first, she smacked his hand away and whirled around.

"Holy crap! You scared me there for a second," Lizzi breathed.

"Where's Dana?" Alex yelled over the loud music.

"I don't know, I think she's over by the bleachers," she pointed to the extended bleachers on the otherside of the gym.

Alex didn't say anything more to her, instead going straight for the bleachers. He found Dana sitting on the side of the bleachers, practically hiding. The sound of someone approaching caught her attention and she looked up at him with teary eyes as he kneeled down beside her. Dana threw her arms around him and buried her face in his jacket.

"Dana, what—"

"I wanna go home," she mumbled, "C-chris was acting like he didn't know me and I thought he was kidding, b-but then he started making fun of me…"

Alex was definitely going to break Chris' face.

"…it's okay, we'll just go home," he said softly.

"You're not mad?" she looked up at him.

"Of course I am," he replied flatly, "But not at you."

"Don't…don't kill him," she sniffed.

"I'm not making any promises."

Dana gave a shaky laugh as they stood up. Alex took off his gray hoodie and wrapped in around Dana. She hugged it closer and kept close to Alex's side as they walked along the side of the gym to avoid going through crowds again. Once they were outside the gym, Alex stopped.

"Can you wait here for a second?" he asked.

Dana nodded.

Alex turned and went back into the gym. He'd seen Chris while he was looking for Dana, but deciding finding her and making sure was okay first was more important. This time, Alex didn't have to push through many groups; they noticed him this time and moved out of the way. He found Lizzi again and asked where Chris was. She simply pointed to a group of guys a few yards away and went back to dancing. The guys, having noticed Lizzi pointing at them, looked over at her and saw Alex starting towards him. Whatever good mood they were in immediately disappeared. It seemed like a couple of them might've known who he was. It wouldn't surprise him, the teachers probably still mentioned the fights him and Braden used to get in. One boy in particular lost all color in his face, Alex knew that was Chris.

"H-hey, dude, I'm sorry," he held in hands up in defense, "It wasn't anything personal…!"

"Then what the fuck was is it for?" Alex snarled.

"It, um…well, I wasn't…It's just—"

Chris was cut off by Alex's fist colliding with his jaw and sending him to the floor. Alex bent down next to him, grabbing him by the shirt and lifting him up to his face.

"There's no goddamn excuse," he growled.

Alex dropped him roughly back onto the floor and stood up. The other boys took a few cautious steps back from him and he turned and stormed back out of the gym, leaving a number of concerned students to flock to Chris. Alex pushed the gym door open and immediately shut it behind himself before Dana had a chance to get a glimpse of what had happened. Dana clung to his arm as the two of them exited the school.

Alex noticed Lacey's car was still parked along the curb and as he got closer, he saw she was once again sitting in the driver seat. After seeing how many people where in the gym and how dark it was, she didn't bother looking for him and went back to the car. When she saw them, she went to get out of her car until Alex made eye contact and shook his head. Lacey sighed and sat back in her seat, but she understood.

They walked home in silence for about a half mile until the heel of one of Dana's shoes snapped off. She tripped forward with a short cry of pain, catching Alex off guard and almost taking him down with her, but he tensed up and caught her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, straightening up.

"Y-yeah," she murmured.

The expression on his face called her bluff.

"…No," she admitted, holding back another wave of tears.

Alex bent down and took the broken shoe off her foot, with her holding his shoulder for balance. Alex removed the other shoe as well, no point in wearing only one. He turned around for her to climb onto his back, he didn't want her walking barefoot; especially if she hurt her ankle. Alex stood up and resumed walking.

He didn't set her down until they were in their living room again. Once he did, she sulked off to her room to change out of her dress. Alex sat down on the couch and picked up the notebook that contained the essay he was supposed to be working on. He started working on it again, but had scarcely written two sentences when Dana came back into the living room. She curled up next to him, content without turning the TV on. Alex shifted and put his free arm around her as he continued writing. She didn't know what he was working on, but didn't ask. She just figured it was something for another one of his classes. However, it wasn't an essay for any of his classes, but it certainly wasn't one for fun. It was part of an application to Columbia University in New York City.


	27. Departure

July 2nd, 2003

Alex had his answer for over a month now. Columbia had gladly accepted his application and informed him he would be starting in their fall quarter. The admissions office also advised him that since he would be coming in from out of state, he should move sooner to become familiar with the area and get settled in. However, Alex wasn't concerned about relearning where everything was. He was more concerned about Dana. He'd considered renting an apartment and taking her with him, but he couldn't make her start her life over now; she was happy in Las Vegas. He certainly couldn't let her live alone in the house. Then he'd had the idea of asking Maria to let Dana stay with them, at least until she was old enough to move out and support herself. Maria was more than happy to let Dana stay with them; Dana was practically part of their family with how much time she spent over there.

While that had been a big relief to Alex, there was still one more thing he had to do; tell Dana.

Alex poked at his food with his fork, not having much of an appetite. Dana was suspicious of this behavior and could tell something was bothering him. After watching him do this for a few minutes, she asked, "Why aren't you eating?"

"Not hungry," he shrugged.

"The only time you're not hungry is when something's on your mind. What is it?"

Alex pushed his plate away, leaning back in his chair. _Gonna have to tell her sooner or later…_

"You, uh…you like hanging out with Natasha all the time don't you?"

"Yeah…" Dana replied slowly.

"Their house is kinda like your second home, right?"

"I guess so."

"What if…it…was more like your first home?"

"…What?"

It probably wasn't the best way of phrasing it, but he was making it up as he went. Alex glanced up at Dana who stared back with a blank expression. Then she dropped her fork to the table and leaned forward.

"Are you kicking me out?! What did I do?!"

"What? I didn't say tha— No. God, no," Alex pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh.

"Then why are you asking me that?"

"Because…I…am moving…"

"What!"

Alex told her that it was only because of school. Dana kept asking him why he couldn't just go to a college that was still in Nevada and he did his best to explain to her that not all colleges had the same programs, not to mention that Columbia was going to cover a significant amount of tuition. Then she started asking why he couldn't take her with. He tried to explain to her the same reasons he'd told himself, but she wasn't convinced. The longer the conversation carried on, the worse Alex felt for doing this. Eventually, Dana got too upset and stormed off to her room, slamming her door behind her.

Alex sat there for a second longer before deciding to get up and go outside. He leaned against the house, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lighting one. He was pretty sure he couldn't feel any worse than he did right now. _Maybe if I'd told her sooner, she wouldn't've gotten so upset._ Alex let himself slide to the ground, telling himself Dana would hopefully get over it before he had to leave in two weeks. He absently thought he probably should've told her that too before she'd stormed off. Alex sighed, cradling his head in his hands, and tried to focus on anything positive that could possibly come out of the situation. No possibility of ever seeing Joline, the weather not being so hot, the chance for a far better job in a field he actually liked, maybe even seeing Casey…

Alex had watched the news constantly after the terrorist attack on New York, a few channels were running the names of unfortunate fatalities. He never saw Casey's name. But that wasn't to say the news couldn't have announced her name while he was at work or the possibility that 'Casey' was just a nickname she preferred to her real name. Alex bitterly pushed the two thoughts far from his mind. He finished off the cigarette but decided to stay outside for a little while longer, finding himself stuck reminiscing about living in New York.

Nearly a week had passed and it seemed that Dana had calmed down, understanding his reasons. At least until he told her when he was leaving; then it all started over again.

"You're leaving on your birthday?!"

Alex had been wrong before, he could feel worse. But now down to only a week left with her brother, Dana got over it much faster this time. She wanted to spend every last second with him, and she could since he'd turned in his two-week notice form to work before he'd even said anything about leaving to her. They waited to pack up Dana's things until the day before he had to leave; she didn't have too much to pack up and nearly all of it could be moved in a single trip with the exception of her bed.

As the day came to a close, she begged him to stay the night with her. He couldn't say no, he knew it would be months before he had the chance to see her again, plus there was absolutely nothing in their house. All of his things were already packed and on their way to his new apartment in New York. So he gave into her pleading. Throughout the night, she clung to him tightly; at times, he'd have to pry her off in order to get comfortable enough to sleep. Only to be woken up again a few minutes later to do the same thing. _Fourteen years old and still doing this…_

When the morning came, he was relieved that Dana wasn't clinging to him again. Out of habit, he rolled over into a more comfortable position and was momentarily panic stricken when he thought he might've rolled on top of Dana. Alex bolted up right only to find the bed empty. He stared at the spot where Dana had been sleeping in confusion, then glanced at the old clock hanging up on the far wall.

Ten thirty-seven.

Alex had meant to get up two hours ago, because they had to be at the airport by eleven thirty. He got up quickly, changing his clothes and irritatedly strode out of the room. Everyone else knew he wanted to be up earlier than this, but hadn't bothered to wake him.

The house was far too quiet; the only sign of life was the sound of the TV on in the living room. Moving closer, he saw Lacey laying on the couch, boredly watching whatever reality show was on. She glanced up at him and her expression immediately brightened up.

"Morning, sleeping beauty," she teased.

Alex narrowed his eyes at her with a grunt.

She sighed with a little smile and sat up to make room for him on the couch. He sat down beside her and asked, "Where is everyone? And why did nobody wake me up?"

"They went to the mall," she replied simply, "And because it's your birthday, so we thought you should get to sleep in."

"Not if I have to be somewhere," he growled, "Why are they at the mall?"

"Relax, my mom called a little bit ago to say she's on her way back. You'll get there in time, don't worry," Lacey said.

Alex crossed his arms, slumping back into the couch, and tried to understand why Maria would leave with so little time.

"Did Dana go too?" he asked.

"It was her idea."

Alex stared at her for a moment.

"Oh, come on," Lacey sighed, "It can't be that hard to figure out."

Obviously it was for him.

"It's your birthday; they went to the mall to get you a present."

"…Why?"

Now it was Lacey's turn to stare at him. Alex had never celebrated his birthday, let alone received any kind of present. Lacey buried her face in her hands, mumbling something and then adding, "Just…don't worry about it, be happy."

Alex scowled and looked off to the side. He waited as patiently as he could, but Maria was taking far too long for him to stay calm. Eventually, Lacey got fed up with his anxious movements and told him to go do something, like pace around in the kitchen where she couldn't see him. Alex grudgingly did as she said, since it was now becoming impossible for him to sit still.

Truth be told, Lacey was secretly hoping that her mother would be late getting back. Sure, she could take him to the airport, something Alex had yet to remember, so he wouldn't miss his flight. But, like Dana, she didn't want him to leave. She still had some unresolved feelings lingering.

The sound of the phone ringing once more snapped her back to reality.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hi, sweetie, traffic was really bad," Maria began.

Alex stopped his pacing long enough to stare intently at Lacey. More so at the phone In her hand, like he was trying to listen to Maria.

"So, I'm gonna need you guys to be ready to run out here real quick and just jump in," Maria added.

"Wha— Mom, you're not talking on the phone and driving are you?"

"Don't be silly, you're on speaker, I'm not holding it," Maria laughed, "Anyway, I'm pulling up the house in about five seconds. Talk to you then."

Lacey sighed and hung up the phone. She knew Alex was demanding she tell him what Maria said, even if he wasn't using words.

"Come on," she said simply, getting up and heading to the front door.

Alex followed her closely, even beating her to the car and getting in immediately. Maria could see impatience written all over him. She apologized for running late, to which he mumbled it was alright. Dana bumped up against Alex with a grin.

"What?" he asked, trying not to sound short with her.

"Lazy bum," she teased.

"…What?"

"Lacey told us you were still sleeping when we called the first time," Natasha chimed.

"That's got to be the latest you ever slept in," Dana smiled.

"Well, maybe if someone wasn't choking me all night…" Alex replied with a faint half smile.

Dana giggled sheepishly, feeling slightly embarrassed at the fact.

Despite the relatively positive note the drive had started on, silence quickly overcame them. The closer they got to the airport, the heavier the silence became. No one made any attempt to break it or make eye contact with someone else. It had become nearly unbearable by the time they arrived at the airport. Knowing that non-passengers were no longer permitted to go through security to go to the gates, Alex was the only to make a move to get out.

"Wait!" Dana blurted, grabbing his arm.

_She better not make this a big deal,_ he thought.

"You didn't get your birthday present," she said.

_That's right, Lacey said they went to the mall for it…._

"Close your eyes," Dana smiled.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because we didn't get to wrap it. Just do it, please?" Dana begged.

Alex rolled his eyes with a groan and did as Dana asked. She leaned over the back of her seat, asking Natasha to hand her something. Then Alex heard the crinkling of a bag as whatever was in it was being removed. Though he wouldn't admit it, he was curious enough to try to sneak a peek. Dana noticed almost immediately and scowled at him until he closed his eyes again.

She sat back in her seat for a moment before leaning towards him and dropping something across his shoulders and back.

"Since New York winters are actually cold…" Dana said.

Alex took that as permission to open his eyes and saw a heavy black jacket resting on his shoulders. With white stripes on the arms and red dragons on the back.

"Why— How did you….?"

Alex gave accusatory looks to Maria and Lacey. Maria waved him off innocently; all she did was drive.

"I only gave her the idea," Lacey defended.

Alex looked back to Dana, realizing she must've been saving the small allowance he gave her. For a long time apparently, if she was able to buy the jacket all on her own. Dana wrapped her arms around him tightly, burying her face in his chest.

"Come back as soon as you can, okay?" she muttered.

"Of course," he said quietly, hugging her back.

Alex pulled the jacket on properly as he got out of the car; it was a perfect fit. He didn't get more than two steps away before her heard Lacey say, "Wait!"

Alex huffed inwardly and turned to face her as she skipped up to him.

"Just one more second…?"

"…Sure."

"Um…I was right."

"About what?"

"You do look good in it," she said quickly.

Before Alex could process what she'd said, she threw her arms around his neck and roped him in. She kissed him briefly on the lips and then let go, taking a step back. Alex stood there, dumbstruck beyond all words.

"Do as Dana said, okay?" Lacey said, starting to blush.

"O-okay," he replied automatically.

Lacey smiled sweetly at him just before she got back in the car. Alex hesitated a second longer, still unsure of what just happened. He shook his head to clear his mind and turned to go inside the airport. As he walked in, he couldn't stop himself from glancing back at them several times. When he could longer see them and still at a loss for words, his mind replayed Lacey's action over and over. It didn't matter how many times he tried to block it out, he just couldn't come back to his right mind.

o0o0o0o0o

_**Author:**_** Lacey broke Alex :I okay, so I know I said Casey would be in this chapter (clearly she's not), but I promise…promise, she will be in the next one! This just seemed like a good place to end the chapter.**


	28. Rememberance

July 16th, 2003

Alex dragged himself up the stairs of the dorms, which he was required to stay in during his freshman year. While the flight had only been a few hours at most, it had felt like an eternity. He wanted to sleep the whole way, but was far too restless. Not to mention the man beside him was far too loud and obnoxious for that to even be a possibility. When he got to the floor his dorm was on, he groaned in annoyance upon seeing the handful of boxes stacked outside the door. He'd forgotten about actually moving his stuff inside.

Alex unlocked the door and threw it open lazily. He then proceeded to kick the boxes inside, being too tired and stiff to pick them up. As soon as he closed the door and looked at the disorganized pile, he realized something was missing. The dorms provided bed frames, but no mattress, which is why Alex had sent his along with the rest of his things. And a mattress was obviously not among the pile of boxes.

He gritted his teeth and dug through his pockets for his cell phone, then immediately dialed the number of the company responsible for moving his things. The phone rang only once before reciting a message that their offices were already closed. _Why the fuck are they already closed?!_

It only took one glance outside to see the night sky already reaching over the city, reminding him of the time zone difference. To him, it felt like five or six in the evening, when in reality, it was closer to nine or ten. Alex snapped the phone shut and threw it at nearby box and then began pacing around the room. Despite how much he wanted to smoke a cigarette now, he couldn't. Both his light and pack of cigarettes had been confiscated at airport security back in Las Vegas.

Alex eyed the provided couch that sat in the far corner. It would have to work as bed for now. He trudged over to it, telling himself he should get to sleep now if he wanted to wake up at a normal time tomorrow. He dropped on it lifelessly just like he did back home.

"This is the most un-fucking-comfortable couch on the goddamn planet," he growled into the cushion.

After tossing over on it several times, he got fed up and through the cushions off the couch to find out what was making it so horrible. What he found was a folded metal frame with a small tag attached to it; a fold-out bed. That he could probably tolerate better. He disregarded the tag, which had instructions printed on it, and started to pull the bed out, figuring it couldn't be that hard. As soon as he had it halfway unfolded, it locked up. Alex grimaced and pulled on it harder, but the bed wouldn't give. Then he thought he would fold it back in and read the instructions on the tag. But the bed didn't fold back in.

Alex stepped back and looked at it in disbelief.

"Fuck this shit!" he yelled, storming out of the dorm.

He wasn't going anywhere in particular, he just needed to do something since it was clear he wasn't going to get to sleep or smoke. He received several suspicious and curious looks from others walking through the dorms for his quickened pace and angry expression. One person, who might've been the dorm's advisor, even tried to stop him. But Alex ignored him and continued outside.

He walked down the street, grateful that the fresh air was helping to calm him down. As he passed a twenty-four hour convenience store, a thought occurred to him. Without pausing to think, he changed his direction and started off towards the old grocery store Casey had worked at. It was a long shot chance, but he didn't have anything better to do at the moment.

After a few wrong turns, he finally made it to the store nearly an hour later. He was relieved to see the inside of the store lit up. Although the store had had a major facelift, seeing two workers standing idly and chatting told him things were probably still the same. As he walked up, one of the two, the bagboy, doubled over laughing at something the cashier had said. She was laughing nearly as hard, but managed to quiet herself as she saw Alex approaching.

"Hello," she greeted, "Whatcha need?"

The bagboy muttered something only she could hear that must've pertained to their joke because she nearly burst out laughing again.

"Does, uh…Casey still work here?" Alex asked.

All joy immediately vanished from the cashier's face.

"Casey?" she repeated.

The bagboy quickly excused himself to go do something else, waiting only a second for the cashier's dismissal.

"Yeah," Alex answered, "Long black hair, kinda pale…"

"Yeah, I know who you're talking about, but…she hasn't worked here since…Nine-Eleven," the cashier said gently with a sympathetic look.

"She's not…" Alex's heart sank, "I mean, she didn't…"

"No, no, no," the girl replied quickly with a half-hearted laughed, "She's too headstrong and stubborn, but she certainly didn't get out of without a scratch."

"How bad did she get hurt?" he practically forced the words out his mouth.

"Well, she was _in_ the tower when the planes hit so…she got hurt really badly. I don't know all the details, that's something you'll have to ask her. How do you know her anyway? I haven't seen you here before and we pretty much only have regular customers…"

"I used to come here a lot when I was younger," Alex admitted somewhat sheepishly.

"Oh, I think I kinda know who you are. Casey talked about you for a little while," the cashier smiled, "That's so sweet of you to come back."

Alex looked away from here in an attempt to hide the blush he could feel creeping onto his face.

"Well, like I said, she doesn't work here anymore. But if you wanted to see her, your best bet would be to catch her on her usual walk through Central Park. Normally she goes in the late afternoon, early evening."

He muttered a thanks, earning another teasing smile from the girl, and left when he saw another customer walking up to the checkstand. As he exited the store, his stomach growled loudly to remind him that he hadn't eaten since earlier that morning. He silently cursed himself for not getting anything to eat before talking to the cashier girl. He wasn't about to walk back into the store, so instead, he decided he'd pick something up on the walk back.

During his walk, he thought about the possibility of catching Casey on her walk, but then he had no idea what to do if he did. If she'd talked about him for a little while, remembering him wouldn't be too much of a problem. It was what he was supposed to say that was concerning him now.

After picking up something to eat, he went back to his dorm and saw of the advisor who had clearly been waiting for his return to lecture him about curfews. Alex walked right past him again, much to the boy's chagrin, and went directly to his dorm. The sight of the still deformed fold-out bed filled him with a sense of anger and exhaustion. He clenched his jaw as he considered fixing the bed again, but ultimately decided to leave that for tomorrow.

He grabbed the cushions from the couch that he had tossed into a corner and lined them up on the floor near the couch. Then Alex tore into a box he knew contained a few blankets and tossed them onto the makeshift bed. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but he didn't have much of a choice. He flopped down onto the cushions out of habit and instantly regretted it. He may as well have dropped on the bare floor. Alex groaned in slight pain and rolled over, hugging his jacket and blanket tighter to himself.

The next morning, when Alex woke up, he was promptly greeted by the bright sun light glaring directly into his face. He cursed at the sun and turned away from it, only to realize a few seconds later it was far too bright to be only the morning sun. He squinted as he looked back out of the window to see the sun high up in the sky; noon. He cursed the jetlag under his breath and kicked the blanket back. Alex glanced up the fold-out that stood there taunting him. He glared at it, but made to move to get up and fix it. Instead, he got up, showered, and put on a change of clothes before leaving again. As much as he wanted to wear the jacket Dana had bought him, it was far too warm outside already for such a heavy jacket. It was still July after all.

He figured since he had nothing better to do at the moment, he may as well go look around the city for halfway decently priced copies of the textbooks he'd need. He knew doing so would take up most of the day, especially since he didn't know where any bookstores were, but he had no intention of asking anyone where they were.

After wandering around for a couple hours, he'd only found two bookstores. One of which did not even sell textbooks, while the other sold them at just as high a price as the university's bookstore. Then an idea hit him. With it now being later in the day, the time of day the cashier had told him Casey went for a walk, he decided he would to Central Park. He would find her and casually ask her if she knew where any bookstores were, as If he didn't know her, and if she remembered him, then it would be on her to figure out what to say instead of him.

Alex barely managed to hide a smile at the thought of the idea as he started off towards Central Park. As he came to the park, he tried to remember what exactly Casey had looked like. He reminded himself that it had been fourteen years and that she wouldn't look the same, but old memories were all he had to go by. Now he had to decide if he would walk around the park and look for her, or sit in one place and wait, hoping he was waiting on her path. _It might look suspicious if I'm just sitting here and all of sudden get up to ask her specifically where a bookstore is…_

He shrugged with a sigh and began walking through the park, glancing around discreetly at people's faces. A few of them noticed, but Alex looked away so quickly that they paid him no mind. Just as he was about to give into the thought of having missed her already, he caught sight of a woman sitting sideways on a bench with her left leg propped up on it. None of the passerbys looking for a place to sit seemed to care that she was taking up so much space, which told him the woman was there frequently. Alex moved closer to her, recognizing her immediately. It was almost as if time hadn't touched her. The only clear sign of aging was that her black hair was just a few shades lighter and she was a little slimmer.

Alex took a deep breath to steady himself as he stopped in front of her.

"Excuse me, miss…?" he started nervously.

"Hm?" Casey looked up at him.

"Um, I…I'm new here and was wondering if you knew of any bookstores that might have cheaper textbooks…?"

Alex hadn't thought of how to phrase the question, and for that he cursed himself, but maintained his calmness. Casey tilted her head the side, thinking of an answer to his question. As she looked back to him, her indifferent expression seemed to change slightly to he didn't recognize.

"There's one on the Upper Westside, I think," she said slowly, pointing in that direction, "Not too far from the park's edge."

Alex nodded in thanks and turned to walk away, feeling instantly depressed. He went a step and a half before Casey spoke up.

"Wait!"

Alex glanced over her shoulder at her.

"You said you're new here…?" she asked.

"Sort of," he admitted, "I lived here a long time ago."

"Did you…When did you live here?"

"About fourteen years ago."

"Did you move to Las Vegas?" Casey guessed.

"Yeah," he replied simply.

Casey stared at him a few seconds longer, trying to remember more as she moved to sit properly on the bench. Then her face lit up in wonderment.

"…Mercer…" she said quietly, "Alex Mercer…?"

Now he couldn't hide the grin that broke out over his face.

o0o0o0o

_**Author:**_** good plan there, Alex. their reunion will actually happen the next chapter…well, I mean, they're reunited here, but you know…**


	29. Sense of Normalcy

"Oh my God, is it really you?" Casey asked.

Alex nodded.

Casey nearly jumped up off the bench, faltering a bit as she did, and ran up to him. She threw her arms around his neck, almost having to stand on her toes to do so. Alex hugged her back tightly, not wanting to let go of her again. But Casey stepped back, breaking the embrace, though she kept her hands on his shoulders.

"What are you…how did you find me?" Casey asked.

"Some girl at your old store told me where I could find you."

"One of these days she's gonna tell some psycho where to find me," Casey laughed, then added softly, "God, you're so grown up now…"

She looked over Alex with misty, thoughtful eyes. Ordinarily, having someone looking at him like this would bother him and earn that person a glare. However, doing that now would be hypocritical of him because he was looking at her almost the same way. Then the thoughtful expression on Casey's face immediately switched to a worried one.

"Are you alright?" she asked, remembering Joline.

"…Yeah, I'm fine now," Alex replied roughly, understanding what she was referring to.

"And your sister?"

"She's fine too."

"Is she here with you?"

"No, she's still in Nevada," he answered with a touch of sadness.

"Not with your mother though, right?" Casey asked slowly.

"Hm-mm, she's staying with one of her friends…Joline is, uh…incapable," he said quickly.

Casey didn't press that particular issue any further; she could tell it wasn't something he liked to talk about. Instead, she asked him more general things about living in Las Vegas, how he'd learned to take of Dana, and his schoolwork. She wanted to know everything she'd missed. Some things Alex left with short answers, while others he seemed content to talk about quite a bit. After answering a number of her questions, Alex realized they'd been walking almost the entire time. He wasn't sure when they'd started moving, but it seemed to make things a little less awkward for the two of them.

Alex took notice of the sun beginning to get low in the sky and thought that maybe he should let Casey go home, though he didn't want to just yet. Casey also noticed the setting sun, but rather than try to dismiss herself, she offered dinner for them. Again, this was something he normally wouldn't accept …_unless maybe it was Lacey…_ he thought distantly. However, because it was Casey and he wanted to keep talking with her, he accepted.

She led him to a restaurant not too far from where they were now. It was really more of bistro because of its size. As soon as Casey walked through the door, an older man greeted her cheerfully. Casey replied with a smile and wave as she continued over to a table.

"I was startin' to worry about you, haven't seen you for a while," the man teased.

"It's only been three days," Casey replied in the same tone.

"Plenty of time for someone to kick the bucket…well, I don't think _you_ could kick it anymore."

Casey sighed, rolling her eyes and propping her head on her hand. Clearly, it was meant to have been a joke; one that Casey was tired of hearing. But Alex didn't understand it.

"Who's this trouble-maker, ah?" he asked, nodding towards Alex.

"Some kid I picked up down the slums," Casey replied sarcastically.

"Could be for all I know."

Again, Casey rolled her eyes at the man as he disappeared into the kitchen. Casey had been there often enough, and usually ordered the same thing, so he had stopped bothering to ask what she wanted. When he was out of sight, Alex asked, "How do you know him so well?"

"His son, Jason, worked in my dad's office…I didn't really talk to him much when I would visit my dad, but after…" Casey trailed off for a second.

He could tell Casey didn't really want to talk about it, not that he could blame her.

"Well, you know," she sighed, "We became pretty good friends, I guess…It's kinda hard not too when you share a hospital room."

"You 'guess'?" Sal interrupted, "I think the fact that you two were almost inseparable for months deserves more than a guess."

Sal set down two plates of food in front of them. Even though Alex hadn't asked for anything, Sal had made the decision for him and fixed him with a look that warned him not to object to it. Sal turned and left them again, muttering something about Casey minimizing details. Alex looked at her for an explanation. She sat leaning on her elbow and poking at the food before as if she'd suddenly lost her appetite. Alex shrugged his shoulders in slight disappointment and began picking at his own food. He wasn't even exactly sure what is was, just that something was covered in a dark rusty sauce that smelled smoky. He glanced at Casey's plate to see she had something similar, though it was a lighter color.

"Buffalo wings," Casey said simply.

"What?"

"You've never had them?"

"I'm pretty sure buffalos don't have wings, so…no," Alex replied slowly.

"Well, you're right. Buffalos don't have wings. But that's just what they're called, they're just little chicken wings and legs," she laughed.

He glanced at her plate again to see she hadn't really been picking at it. She'd been fishing the wings out the thick sauce so it would be less of a mess. She stabbed at one with her fork to pick it up and Alex tried to do the same, only to have his fork twist off to the side.

"You have bones in yours," she smiled, "You'll just have to eat them with your hands."

"Seriously?"

"It'd be a lot of effort to try to cut them up and even then you wouldn't get everything off them."

Throughout dinner, since Casey had had most of her questions answers, Alex asked her about what she had been doing the past fourteen years. Every now and then he would try to get her to talk about the towers, but everytime he did, she successfully managed to change the subject. There were also a handful of other topics she refused to talk about. Leaving all those things out made her life sound perfectly normal; he knew it wasn't. But eventually he decided she'd tell him these things with time.

"Alright, time to take that hoodlum back to where ya found him," Sal called from the kitchen door, "I'm closing up for the night."

Alex grimaced.

"He doesn't really think you're a hoodlum," Casey said with a half-grin, "He's just trying to bother you."

That didn't make Alex feel any better because he knew there actually some truth to that, but that was one of things he didn't tell Casey. He reluctantly followed her outside, not wanting to leave. He could tell by the expression on her face that she felt the same way.

"You're not going to disappear on me again, are you?" she asked.

"Not planning on it."

"Good," she smiled, "Need a ride home…?"

"No, I can walk. It's not far."

Casey seemed a little disheartened, but she understood. As she gave him a hug good night, Alex promised he'd see her later since he knew where to find her as she teasingly pointed out. There were probably several other more normal ways of finding her, but that had been the most direct. Alex watched her as she turned and walked away, again noticing the ever so slight limp in her step. He'd figured it was a lasting injuring from the towers, however, he still hoped Casey might tell that story one day.

Alex started off in the other direction, checking his phone for the time. Rather than telling him what time it was, it lit up with two missed calls and a voicemail. He didn't recognize the number that called him, but listened to the voicemail anyway as he walked.

_"Why don't you answer your phone?"_

It was from Dana; the number belonged to Natasha's house.

_"What if I was dying, huh? Haha, well I don't think you could really do anything since you're like two thousand miles away or something. I don't know. Natasha's mom told me to wait 'til today to call you so you could have time to settle in or whatever. Call me back when you can? Please?"_

The pleading tone in her voice at the end made him feel guilty for leaving once again. He thought to himself that he could've waited at least another month. But the chance to leave had been too much temptation for him.

When the message was over, the screen displayed that it was just a few minutes after ten. Which meant a few minutes after seven in Las Vegas. Alex decided that Dana could wait just a little longer until he got back to his dorm to call her. He knew she stayed up late anyways, even on school nights when she thought she'd tricked him into believing she was sleeping. As he rounded the last corner to the dorms, he thought of the defiant fold-out bed that awaited him as well as the dorm advisor. Even though Alex had only seen the advisor twice, no more than a second both times, he still got the feeling he was the sort of advisor that kept strictly to the rules. Just as expected, the advisor had been waiting for him by the door, looking extremely irritated.

"Do you plan on making a habit out of this?" the advisor asked.

"Probably," Alex replied simply.

He didn't even bother to pause for a response, he just continued up the stairs to his dorm. The advisor huffed and started after Alex, but he couldn't keep up with Alex's quick pace and was soon met with Alex's door.

He called Dana back and waited for her, or anyone to answer the phone, he paced around the room, occasionally casting a dirty look at the fold-out bed. The phone rang one last time before going to the answering machine. Alex tossed his phone down on to the pile of cushions, where it bounced and landed on the floor. Then he turned his attention to the fold-out bed. He glared at the furniture and gave it an angry, but hopeless kick. He heard something metal slide and clink inside the bed, then the mattress and its frame fell to floor as they were supposed to. He let out a sigh of relief and collapsed onto the bed. It still wasn't comfortable, but it was far better than sleeping on the cushions on the floor again. A minute later, he heard his phone vibrating against the floor and rolled over to pick it up.

Dana greeted him excitedly before he even had a chance to answer. It was only after she'd asked him nearly half a dozen questions about his first day back in New York that she finally gave him the chance to speak. He answered all her questions, then she asked several more. Once those had been answered as well, she started going on about her day. He was glad to hear that she was still happy, for now at least. But he was also a little bit disappointed that she could be happy when he was thousands of miles away.

An hour passed before he heard Maria in the background telling Dana to get off the phone and let him sleep. Dana whined, earning an unseen smile from Alex, but complied. She made him promise to call her again soon or else she would call him continuously until he answered. When she hung up, he dropped the phone back to the floor and moved back to the center of the bed. He didn't realize how tired he was until now; hardly a minute passed before he was fast asleep.

_"Vos estis catalyst. Tempus lente incipit sit accedere ad…."_

o0o0o0o0o

_**Translation:**_** "You are the catalyst. The time slowly begins to approach…."**

_**Author:**_** hmm, am I gonna start getting a little supernatural here? Probably not…much more than this….for now….there's really no excuse for taking this long to update, I'm just lazy. Anyway, does anyone really care about Casey's backstory? I have it planned out, but it can be skipped if no one's interested.**


	30. Nightmare Again

November 30th, 2003

Casey had picked Alex up at the airport after he'd spend his Thanksgiving break back home. As much as he liked being in New York, he was still glad to go back to Las Vegas. Dana had been excited beyond all words to see him again, as had Lacey, but she did a better job of controlling herself. Nearly all his time back home was split between the two of them, not that he was complaining. So, of course when he had to leave, Dana was nearly in tears again. He reminded it wouldn't be as long before he'd see her again because his Christmas break was less than a month away and it was a longer break. Dana hugged him goodbye again and joking refused to let go. Once she did, it was Lacey's turn. She hugged him tightly, but made no move to kiss him this time. That alone had confused him and he thought that maybe she was expecting him to make the first move. But he hadn't thought of that until he was on the plane.

Now he was in the car with Casey. When she picked up him from the airport, he noticed she seemed a little out of it. She dismissed it as her simply being tired because of the weather. A rather thunderous storm had been hanging over the city for a couple days now and had been getting progressively worse because of a tropical storm, or possible hurricane, forming off the coast. The storm had been knocking out power all over the city, though electric crews had been doing a good job of getting grids back online. However, as they found out by going to Alex's dorm, that grid was still down and not scheduled to be repaired for two more days.

The note one the front door of the dorms said that students could still stay there if they wanted, but Casey had told Alex it would be kind of stupid for him to do that and let him stay with her at her house. He'd been to her house several times before, even spent the night once when his homework left him too tired to think straight.

Once there, they bolted inside to try to avoid the relentless rain. After drying off a bit, Casey went to making them dinner. As they ate, he asked what she did while he was gone. To which the answer was nothing. Sal and his son, Jason, invited her over for Thanksgiving, but she'd declined because would've felt like she was 'intruding'. However, Alex attributed that as part of her low spirits, but said nothing of it.

A few minutes later, there was a blinding flash of lightning outside that made Alex flinch. A dull thud was heard as the transformer for Casey's grid went out, resulting in darkness only a second later. Casey cursed under her breath and started counting. Just as Alex was about to ask what she was doing, a violent roar of thunder shook the house and he nearly jumped out his chair. There had been thunderstorms in Las Vegas, but they had more gentle thunder.

"Three," she sighed.

"Three what?"

"Seconds between the lightning and the thunder. It means the lightning was only three miles away," she answered.

Alex gave her a confused look.

"It's sort of an old wives' tale. The number of seconds between lightning and thunder is the number of miles away it is," she said, standing up, "I've got a generator in the basement, give me a minute and the power will be back."

With that, she went back to the kitchen and rummaged around until she found a flashlight and then went downstairs to the basement. Alex sat back in his chair, poking at his food. He was hungry, but he didn't feel right about eating without her.

Several minutes passed and Alex started to worry. He made his way down to the basement, missing a step and tripping towards the end, but otherwise made it through the darkness just fine. He found her quickly, illuminated by the flashlight on the ground. She sat beside the generator, with her right leg drawn up to her chest and arms wrapped around it.

"Are you okay…?" he asked.

Alex walked carefully towards her; the flashlight illuminated a few things on the ground, but not everything.

"I can't start it," she mumbled, "He never showed me how to."

"Who?" he asked, _The guy that sold it to you?_

Casey sat up a little straighter, quickly wiping away tears that had begun to streak down her face. Alex glanced at the generator as he sat down beside her. He knew he wouldn't be able to start it either; he had a hell of a time with a fold-out bed.

"…Michael," Casey sighed quietly, "He…he was my husband…"

"You're married?"

Casey nodded, then shrugged. Alex had never seen anyone else with her, aside from Jason and Sal.

"Was," she corrected.

"What happened?"

He wished he hadn't asked that, he could see it was already taking quite of bit of effort for her not to break down right there. He tried to take back the question, saying she didn't have to answer if she didn't want to. She waved him off and took a deep breath.

"…He committed suicide."

"What?"

"Right after Emma and I were pronounced dead after the terrorist attack," Casey said.

"Emma?"

"…My daughter."

_"Everyone looks so tiny!"_

_ "You're not afraid to be so high up?"_

_ "Nu-uh."_

_ "You're so brave," Casey said with a laugh and a wink._

_ The two of them stepped off the elevator onto the eighty-sixth floor of the South Tower. Some of the employees working there took notice of Emma, keeping close to her mother's side, while others didn't seem to care. As soon as Emma spotted her grandfather, she let go of Casey's hand and ran towards him._

_ "Hey, there's my little girl!" he laughed as he scooped her up, "You know, you're my favorite granddaughter, right?"_

_ "Grandpa, I'm your only granddaughter," she giggled._

_ "And that's why I'm gonna spoil you rotten," he grinned._

_ "At least not rotten, please?" Casey asked._

_ Her father grunted and waved a hand at her dismissively. He turned his attention back to Emma and told her to wait there while he went to get her present. Emma bounced around excitedly, asking Casey if she knew what the present was._

_Casey rolled her eyes and looked out of the window at the morning sun. While the view was partially obstructed by the North Tower, she still saw a quick flash of metal flying through the air. Then heard a thunderous rumbling, followed by the sight of black clouds beginning to rise from the tower's highest floors. She wasn't the only one in the office to notice it either._

_ "Momma, what was that? Is there a thunderstorm?"_

_ Emma couldn't see the smoke from where she sat and Casey wanted to keep it that way. But she knew Emma was too smart and too curious for her to simply say 'yes, it was a thunderstorm'. Emma hopped off her chair and started towards the window, just like everyone else on the floor was doing. Casey quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her back. _

_ "No, sweetheart, if you don't wait in your seat, Grandpa won't give you your present," Casey told her._

_ The girl frowned a little, but believed her. She climbed back into her seat as Casey went to the window instead. As horrified as she was at the sight, she was unable to look away as the smoke blacken and rose higher to the sky. The feeling of someone touching her hand finally tore her attention away from the North Tower._

_ "Emma, I told you—Oh, Jason?"_

_ "Casey, you need to go," he whispered._

_ She glanced past him to see many of the employees hurriedly grabbing their things and heading for the elevators. He made sure to keep his voice too low for Emma to hear as he told Casey an evacuation order had been given a few minutes ago and that she had been wasting time staring out of the window. She thanked him and walked over to Emma._

_ "What's going on?" she asked, seeing the obvious fear and dread in her mother's eyes._

_ "Grandpa said your present is waiting outside for you. It won't fit in the elevator," Casey lied._

_ "Really?!"_

_ Casey smiled and nodded. She took her daughter by the hand and started off towards the elevator as well. It didn't take more than a couple seconds for Emma to become suspicious of her mother's quickened pace. She stopped and pouted at Casey._

_ "Momma, are you tricking me cuz you don't want Grandpa to spoil me?"_

_ "No, of course not," Casey brushed Emma's hair back, "Now come on, we—"_

_ "PLANE!" _

_ Casey's eyes snapped up in the direction of whoever had shouted, then she looked immediately to where they had pointed. Casey snatched Emma up in her arms and darted forward as a plane fin tore through the office space with a deafening roar, sending showers of sparks and debris everywhere; and Casey and Emma to the floor._

_ "Emma! Emma, are you alright?!" Casey shouted of the roar of fire, "Emma!"_

_ The little girl appeared dazed, maybe even shell-shocked, but otherwise unharmed. Casey picked her up again and searched for a way out. But thick, black smoke prevented her from seeing anything from the glow of the fire and forced her back to the floor. She would have to stay low if she wanted to breathe, but wouldn't be able to move holding Emma like she was. She moved her daughter onto her back, as if she were going to give her a piggy-back ride, all the while yelling that everything was alright. She wasn't sure if Emma could hear her yet, but just saying those things gave Casey her own reassurances._

_ She saw the emergency exit stairs a several yards away. While it meant she would have to run down eighty-six flights of stairs, if was now their only way down. The plane fin had ripped a massive hole in the floor that she had no chance of jumping to make it to the elevators, if they even still worked. She kept shouting reassurances to Emma as she crawled to the exit door. A few of the tower's sprinklers managed to go off, dowsing some of the smaller fires and keeping the floor just barely cool enough Casey to tolerate, but she could still feel the heat of the raging fires on the floors beneath her and knew it wouldn't be long before they swallowed this floor as well._

_ She tried to move faster, but found, for some reason, that it was becoming increasingly difficult to do so. The sound of shrieking metal and an ensuing explosion erupted so loud and violently that she was immediately deafened and blinded by the raging fire that swelled through the hole in the floor and crashed against the ceiling. The blistering heat and lack of sprinkles gave her only a second to regain herself._

_ Casey growled angrily to herself, she didn't understand why it was becoming so hard to move. She pushed herself up, wrapping her arms under Emma's legs and leaning forward so Emma wouldn't fall back. Casey held her breath and started to run for the exit door. Moving was still no easier, in fact, it seemed to be getting rapidly more difficult. Casey's feet slipped against the now burning carpet floor. One glance at the fires springing up around them told her why it was becoming so hard to move._

_ The flames were tilting towards the walls instead of the ceiling. A new found sense of sheer terror motivated Casey to run faster and against gravity. Metal roared and shrieked again, informing her she could hear once more, then a bright light blinded her for a moment. The morning sun glared into her face as the walls ripped open, almost as if it her taunting her in her efforts. Casey lost her footing again and fell to the tilting floor. She yelped in pain as the heated floor burned her skin and tried to get up. _

_ She felt herself moving, but not in any way she wanted. The floor slid along her body and as it did, she began to feel weightless._

_ "No, no, no, no, NO!" she screamed at the top of her lungs._

_ Her protesting did nothing; the floor continued to tilt then began to move away from her. Casey quickly twisted around to hold Emma to her chest and wrapped her body around the little girl as tightly as she could. The morning sun that had taunted her moments ago vanished under a new veil of ashy smoke and sparks. Then it glared at her upside down for no more than a fraction of second. Casey shut her eyes and screamed, but was silence by the Towers' own wailing and the roar of the air that rushed past her. _

_ As she fell, she was painfully aware of the metallic sounds of metal beams and sheets of glass that fell with her. Dozens of them collided with her and slashed at her skin as they raced by her. The next sound she heard could be described no other way that what the fires of hell sounded like._

_~0~_

_Every millimeter of her being was in complete agony. So much so, that she was well past her pain threshold and felt absolutely none of it. Casey coughed violently, tasting the iron taste of blood in her mouth. Every breath she drew in was ragged and shallow, for a moment she thought that it was because of Emma on top of her._

_ Then she realized her daughter was not on top of her._

_ She panicked and tried to get up, but found herself immobilized. Not a single muscle in her body allowed her to get up; nor did the rebar sticking through her chest. Casey raised a shaking, bloodied hand and tentatively touched the still hot metal stained the darkest crimson color. She wanted to do something, anything. The only thing she could do was let warm tears fall from her eyes and wash away the tiniest amount of blood, soot, and ash caked on her face._

_ "M-m-mom…ma?"_

_ Casey looked desperately to the right and saw Emma lying face down just a few feet away. Despite being in nothing short of pure hell, Casey felt an incredible wave of relief wash over her._

_ "I…I'm right…here, Emma," Casey forced herself to say._

_ "I-i-it…h-h-urts," Emma choked._

_ "I know it does, baby…I know…can you come to mommy?"_

_ Casey held out her hand to her daughter. The little girl looked at her and cried that she couldn't. Everything hurt too much, she was too afraid._

_ "B-but you're so brave…remember?" Casey said._

_ Then she forced herself to wear a false, hollow smile to comfort Emma. Emma's crying quieted to whimpers as she tried to drag herself to Casey. Casey repeated labored words of encouragement to her and waved her hand as best she could to motion her closer. After what felt like hours, Emma finally made it to Casey's side. She curled up in the crook of her arm and shoulder, starting to cry again. Casey hushed her softly and tried to stroke her hair, but quickly found she was incapable of bending her arm to do so. She tried to reach across with her other arm, but the rebar through her chest didn't allow it._

_ All she could do was speak to her. So that was what she did, though she only spoke to prompt Emma to talk. That way she knew she was still alive. The two laid there for the longest time, simply talking in the haze that showed no sign of day or night. The longer they talked the more hopeful Casey began to feel._

_ The sound of grinding concrete and shifting ash interrupted them as a large shadow darkened in front of them as something began to fall. Now it was Casey's turn to feel as enraged as the inferno they had been in. Casey gathered all of her strength and threw her left leg up at the shadow. The concrete collided against her foot, crushing her leg back down at an angle she never thought it could reach._

_ "Fuck you!" she shouted hatefully._

_ She strained against the concrete, her shallow breaths seething through her teeth, but she was only able to halt its advance. Emma stared at her mother both in horror and awe. She'd never seen her mother so furious or so strong. From that moment on, Emma didn't say a word to her. The only words to escape Casey's mouth were nothing short of the foulest profanities one could ever hear in a life time._

_~0~_

_"Can anyone hear me? If you can, just make some kind of noise!"_

_ "O-over here!" Casey shouted._

_ She coughed up another mouthful of blood. The taste of iron no longer frightened her, but she had quickly grown to resent it. The paramedic stumbled over debris as he made his way to her and Emma. He called for more of his team to come over and move back the concrete wall. It took three men to push the concrete off of Casey and, as soon as it was gone, she screamed in agonizing pain. The absent pressure allowed her feel every millimeter of fractured and broken bones, ripped muscle, and frayed tendon._

_ One man held her down while another had to inject her with a heavy dose of morphine. In only seconds, she was back to a perfectly numb state; completely disconnected from herself. The first paramedic looked over her, primarily at the rebar in her chest. He said something Casey couldn't hear to another paramedic who then brought over a rather frightening saw. Had she not been sedated, the vibrating metal would have sent her into such a panic she was sure she would've had a heart attack. _

_ Once the rebar was cut free of the concrete chunk it was embedded in, though still in her chest, they picked her up as gently as if she were made of the most delicate glass in the world. Casey saw them lift Emma in much the same way, but they put her on separate stretcher. She tried to object to them, but morphine warped her words into nothing more than low moans of pain._

All Alex could do was stare at Casey.

"They told me Emma was already dead when they found us," Casey said quietly, "They gave me too much morphine when they were cutting the rebar and it killed me. I was dead for two hours, no one knows how I came back. But…that was enough time for the hospital to notify Michael…a-and for him to…"

She choked up, unable to finish her sentence. Alex had no idea what to say or do; all he could do was wrap his arms around her to calm her down. He could feel her trembling violently as she resisted the urge to cry. Maybe he shouldn't have come down to check on her, at least then she wouldn't have told him the story and made herself relive it. But if she could suffer through telling him that, he felt he should be able to do the same and tell her everything Joline did.

While it did little to improve her mood, it did take her mind off her own horrid memories. Now it was Casey who could only stare, there was nothing else she could do except apologize for Joline's actions. Every time she did, Alex mumbled for her to not since it wasn't her fault. And, as much as Alex hated Joline and talking about what she did to him, he had to admit he felt a sense of relief by telling someone.

o0o0o0o0o

_**Author: **_**since there were enough people wanting to know more about Casey, here you guys go. I feel too sick to improve this chapter any more than it is...oh my god, 30 chapters...thanks everyone whose been with the story since it was started :D**


	31. Heartbreak

April 1st, 2004

Alex wasn't one for jokes. He would put up with them, even give a half-hearted laugh if it was Dana who told one, but he didn't like them. Still, he was hoping this was some kind of twisted joke on Lacey's part. He could see her talking, but he wasn't listening anymore. He was still hung up on what she'd said just a minute ago. Something had been bothering her since Thanksgiving, that much he could tell; he wasn't that dense. It continued through the rest of the holidays and seemed to get worse. It wasn't until today that he finally asked her what was wrong.

And he regretted it.

Lacey fumbled her words around, unsure of what to say until she let out a breath and said it flat out. She said she thought it wouldn't be a good idea for them to be 'an anything other than friends' because of long distance. Not only that, but that she'd decided that a long time ago and had been going out with someone else since Thanksgiving.

Alex knew pain. Anyone who knew him knew that. But what he felt now, he wasn't sure. He allowed himself to become vulnerable around Lacey and now he was hurt. Lacey started apologizing, for everything, and asked if he was alright. That was when his mind snapped back to the situation at hand. His eyes met her's and bored into them with a new kind of anger and hurt; one that made her flinch back. Alex said nothing as he narrowed his eye at her before turning and storming off. Lacey truly did feel bad for what she'd done, but the voice in the back of her head told her not to follow Alex.

However, the same could not be said for Dana. An hour later, when she learned he'd left, she went out looking for Alex even though Maria had told her not to. Dana ignored her for two reasons: one, she hated seeing or knowing Alex was in a bad mood. Two, because as much as she hated to say it, Maria wasn't her mother. Not that Dana would actually listen to her mother, Alex was the only parental figure in her life, but the principal of the matter still stood.

Dana walked around for hours looking for Alex. She didn't think there would be many places he would go, if he had an actual place in mind. If he was just wondering around, she'd probably never find him, given the head start he had. The sun had already set and she remembered how strict Alex had been about her not being out, especially alone, after the sun had set. She let out a defeated sigh and started back towards Maria's house. She didn't pay much attention as she made her way back, so when she glanced up, she was kind of surprised to see she'd walked into their old neighborhood.

She paused and thought for a moment, Alex hated it here. He wouldn't be here, would he? Still, she went straight for their old house, hoping that he was there because frankly, she was starting to get scared as the night grew darker. Dana may not have been by their house since she moved in with Natasha, but she still knew the way.

As always, there were people out on their porches or in their backyards drinking and partying. Thankfully, none of them paid her any mind as she hurried over to their house. Several papers had been posted to the door; some were late notices for bills, others for eviction warnings and foreclosure. Dana pushed the door open, surprised only for a second that it was unlocked. Looking closer at the door handle, it had been broken open at some point. She stepped into the house and immediately noticed a number of things that weren't theirs; namely, just about everything. Her and Alex had cleaned the house out completely when they moved. Squatters had taken up the house since they left.

Dana hesitantly looked around the house to see if any of them were still there. She felt a sense of relief to find no one in the house, but at the same time finding no one meant she still didn't find Alex. She sighed and turned to leave, but was stopped when she felt a draft and smelled the faint scent of a cigarette drifting through the house. Dana ran for the back door in the kitchen and threw it open to find her brother leaned back in a chair, feet propped up on the deck railing and hands netted over his face. Dana smiled as she walked closer, realizing he must have fallen asleep. She carefully reached over and flicked the burned out cigarette butt from Alex's mouth, effectively startling him awake. Alex bolted up right, glaring hatefully at her for a second until he realized who it was. With his glare gone, she could see nothing but weariness in his eyes.

"Dana, what the hell are you doing?" Alex sighed.

"I came looking for you," she answered simply.

"You know you're not supposed to be out after dark," he mumbled, resuming his previous position.

"That's why I had to find you. It wasn't dark when I left," Dana shrugged.

She glanced around for another chair, but there wasn't any. Not that that was a surprise either. She batted at Alex's arm, telling him to move so she could sit with him. He grunted and complied, letting her sit on his lap and nestle against him.

"You need to go home," Alex said.

"I am home," she replied smartly.

"You know what I mean."

"You'd have to walk me home then, your rules," Dana said, "And at that point you may as well stay, right?"

"Or you could call Maria and have her pick you up."

Dana scowled up at Alex, but he didn't look back at her. He just stared off in the distance with that tired look. She remembered seeing it a few times in their younger years; it was always there after one of Joline's beatings. Obviously, that wasn't the case here, but Dana hadn't bothered to ask anyone why Alex had left.

"What's wrong?" Dana asked.

"Nothing."

She watched him for a couple minutes, hoping he would crack and tell her. But just as always, he didn't tell her what was wrong. He would rather deal with it himself than tell anyone, that was just how he was. Unknown to her, Alex did want to tell someone, but not Dana. He still felt that lingering sense that he had to be tough as nails for her. The person he did want to talk to at that moment happened to be thousands of miles away. Dana sighed and rested her head against his shoulder.

The two of them remained there in silence for hours. Once Dana had fallen asleep, Alex gathered her up in his arms and carried her back through the house. He knew it wasn't the best idea to stay there, especially since the only reason the squatters weren't there was because he'd threatened to beat the living shit out of them if they didn't leave. He was sure they'd be back soon, probably with more people thanks to his threat.

It didn't take long for him to get back to Maria's house. He nudged the doorbell with his elbow, mentally apologizing for how late it was. Unfortunately, it had been Lacey who answered the door. Alex couldn't hide the unmistakable look on anger on his face as he brushed past her. Lacey tried to talk to him, but he simply ignored her, instead going straight to Dana's room. He pushed her bedroom door open, taking care not to hit Dana against the door frame, and walked over to her bed. He leaned over to lay her down and was then not allowed back up.

_Is she ever going to stop this?_ he thought with a mix of annoyance and affection. Not having the will to struggle against her hold, Alex just layed down beside her. She would eventually let go and that would be when he'd get up. Until then, he was stuck with his thoughts. Seeing Lacey again so soon made him start contemplating taking an earlier flight back to New York. The more he thought about it, the more it sounded like a good idea.

Alex woke up the next morning, still in Dana's bed. She hadn't let go or even loosened her grip. Alex grimaced and pried her arms off as gently as he could. Dana whined sleepily, waking up at the movement.

"Dana, let go," he whispered.

"No…" she mumbled, "It's too early…"

Alex rolled his eyes and kept trying to pry her off. She smiled and giggled everytime he succeeded only to have her latch on again. Even Alex had a tiny smirk on his face; just about anything to get his mind off yesterday was acceptable. Their small fight kept going until Alex slipped off the edge of the bed and landed hard on the floor.

"Oh my god, Alex, are you okay?" Dana panicked.

He groaned in response and made no effort to move.

"What was that?" Maria panicked, rushing into the room, "Oh dear, are you alright?"

Alex gave her the same response. Maria relaxed and left shaking her head. Another minute ticked by before Alex let out a breath and stumbled to his feet. Dana muttered an apology, but Alex just waved it off.

The rest of the day carried on relatively normal, though Alex made a point to avoid all eye contact with Lacey. He even tried to avoid looking at her all together if he could help it. From that, Dana was able to start piecing together what had happened. Her final clue to the matter came when Alex told her he was going to leave early. Not a couple days early, more like that night early. Dana cried and demanded the actual reason from him, but he refused to say. At that point she turned on Lacey, blaming her for it until Alex told her to knock it off. Dana continued to pout and shoot dirty looks at Lacey.

When they dropped him off at the airport, Dana hugged him tightly and refused to let go again. Alex sighed, giving her a chance to let go on her own.

"We're not doing this again," he stated.

"It's not fair," Dana huffed.

_Our entire lives aren't fair,_ he thought bitterly.

Dana sulked back from him, hoping that her lack of fight would change his mind. There was a look of hesitation in his eyes, but he kept to his decision to leave. He didn't look back at her as he walked away, he knew that would crush him and change his mind for sure.

The flight to New York seemed longer than normal and so did the cab ride back to his dorm. He didn't plan on staying there tonight though. Alex just threw his stuff in his dorm before turning and leaving again. By this point, the dorm advisor had all but given up on reprimanding Alex for constantly breaking the curfew rules. Alex walked through the city until he came the more residential part of town and walked up the steps to Casey's house. He cursed himself for showing up so late, but seeing that her lights were still on made him feel a little better. At least she was awake. Alex knocked on the door and heard swift steps coming to answer it; swift, even steps that were clearly not Casey's.

"What— Do you have any idea what time it is?" Jason growled.

The son of the guy who ran the restaurant that he and Casey went to all the time. The one who'd been in the towers with Casey.

"Y-yeah, I just—"

"Who is it?" Casey asked, peering over the railing, "Alex?"

Casey disappeared for a second, then came hurrying down the stairs to the door. Aside from the fact that he was back nearly a week early, she could tell something was upsetting him by the way he stood there. Casey pushed Jason aside and pulled Alex in.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

He glanced down, shrugging and shaking his head. He still didn't want to cave in. Casey led him into the living room, but was pulled back by Jason. Alex could hear their short, quiet argument. Jason was clearly angry that Alex had interrupted whatever they'd been doing, but Casey was unphased by it. They hadn't been doing anything, really. Just sitting around and talking, enjoying the night together. The argument got a little more heated, then Jason gave an exasperated grunt before leaving the house. Casey huffed and scowled after him, then came back to the living room.

"So what's the matter?" she asked softly.

Casey sat beside Alex on the couch and watched him with concern. He tried to keep calm and his voice even as he told her what had happened, but not even halfway through, his façade of strength gave out. Tears started to roll down his face as he choked on his words. Casey hushed him and held him close. She didn't need to hear anymore, especially if it was only going to hurt him, but Alex forced himself to tell her the rest. When he was done, he was sure he hadn't felt this hurt and helpless in years. At least this time, there was someone there to make him feel better. Even if he was still sitting there doing his best, and failing, to stop crying like a child.

Heartbreak. That was what he felt.

o0o0oo0o

_**Author: **_**holy shit balls, guys…I am so, so, SO sorry this took forever and a half. there's no way I'm going to abandon this fic and I really hope no one thought I was going to. I promise it won't be five months before the next update, I'm getting back into [Prototype] so the chapters should start rolling again like before.**


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